I have always considered myself a lucky person because of the marriage that I have. John and I got married when we were 25 after being friends for a long time. We had actually known each other most of our lives. Getting married to him was the easiest thing I’ve ever done and it’s been just as easy being married to him for the last 11 years. Everyone is blessed in different ways and I truly feel like having a good marriage is one of our blessings. But that doesn’t mean life is blissfully perfect all the time. We have definitely had hard times and I mean hard. There have been times where we have gone without speaking. There have been times when we both cried. There have been times when I’ve yelled and he’s taken it like a champ. And yes you heard that right I’m the one that yells, he never yells at me, ever. But for the most part we are very happy and hardly ever fight. Although I do credit that mostly to him because he’s just very easy-going and that helps a ton!
One of those hard times happened earlier this year when John ended up losing his job. It was hard on our marriage like it would be for any marriage. Things were a little tense. We didn’t know what was going to happen and that fear caused some contention. Luckily for me I was given a great tool that helped me so much during this time. A book called Bridging the Gap How to Create More Emotional Intimacy in Your Marriage. I am so grateful I had it during this trial in our lives. It helped me so much as I dealt with my emotions and I truly believe it kept many unnecessary fights from happening!
As I read this book I came across a line that said, “If a relationship is pretty rocky, avoid the temptation to try to “talk things out” right away or to try to convince your spouse that you can be trusted because you frequently say, “I love you.” I found it works much better to focus only on spending positive time together. No words necessary!” I loved this idea. What if instead of always trying to fix our problems when we were together, we just spent time together. So this is what we did and it worked wonders! Soon we were able to focus on our love for each other and our conversations turned positive and constructive!
I also started a “Love Log” that is suggested in the book. The author Christina Shelley Albrecht shows step by step instructions on how to create your own custom love log, a place where you can document things you did and how you felt to determine what things consistently connect you and your spouse so you can strengthen your marriage by repeating them. This helped me notice all the small things he did for me. Things I would have never noticed. It also helped me communicate in a positive way things that were bothering me or making me feel upset. I have loved this exercise and think it is something that could help every marriage whether you have a wonderful marriage or one that needs some work.
Bridging The Gap is short and quick to read but it is so powerful and can literally help save marriages. It gives people ways of thinking that are encouraging and tools that were easy to use and very effective. My marriage is the most important thing I have in my life and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to help it stay great. This book came at a time that really helped me and I would recommend it to any married couple no matter what stage of marriage they are in.
Make sure to share this with any married couple you know that would benefit from it. You can get a copy here now!
