Church To Announce New Temple Construction In Disneyland


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SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH – Bro. Scottie Curtis, who is the director of the Temples That Will Never Be Built Department or TTWNBBD for short, announced that the church will begin ground breaking on a new temple to be dedicated in Disneyland just north of the Tower of Terror.

“We want to bring the temples to the people and clearly there are a lot of Mormons here in Disneyland” stated Curtis. “It’s something that has always been rumored and we’re just excited to finally get this ball started.”

The idea for this location started when Donny Osmond was first given the role as the singing voice of Captain Li Shang in the Disney movie Mulan. “There were several of us, including Donny who were sitting around the kitchen table playing Settlers of Catan when it all of sudden dawned on us that we really needed to make this happen” stated Curtis.

From that point on they started working with influential Mormons such as Ed Catmull, President of the Disney Animation Studio, to see what kind of deal that they could work out.

In exchange for permission to build an LDS temple in Disneyland, the church has agreed to lend Disney some of their top rated talents such as Alex Boye, Stuart Edge, Lindsey Sterling, John and Brett Roberts from Bored Shorts TV and their most recent addition, Scott Sterling who is still recovering in the hospital from an unrelated volleyball injury sustained over the weekend.

“It’s an exciting time to be a member of the church. I never thought I would actually ever see the day when a temple would be built in Disneyland, combining two of my most favorite things in the world” exclaimed Jea Macarilay, a talented upcoming star in her own right.

“I have always been scared of the Tower of Terror ride at Disneyland. However, the ability to be able to look out and see the Disneyland temple when you are sitting 200 feet in the air, I can just imagine the calming sensation it will bring to me and knowing that everything will work out in the end on the ride. I’m simply not scared any more” weeped Aaron Pollard, an amazingly talented young man who has a strange obsession of stealing John Huntinghouse’s Facebook profile photo and posting it as his own.

It will be interesting to see the reaction on #ldsconf and the members of the church at large when the announcement is made this weekend. In the meantime, excitement is definitely coming to a fever pitch with the rumors of this new announcement.


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