My Personal Struggle With Porn:
An Open Letter To My Friends.
I knew porn was bad. I grew up in Utah Valley the heart of Mormonism. But I had always thought unless you are married, porn will only hurt the person doing it. I was wrong, dead wrong.
I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I walked in on my best friend as he was viewing porn on the computer, he quickly exited the web browser hoping that I had not seen what he was watching, but after further questions and opening up the history on the web browser, I confronted him. He broke down, he started crying and begging me not to tell anyone. I told him I would not tell anyone, but that he needed to seek help from the Bishop, which he did.
This event caused me to realize because porn is hurting those I love, porn is hurting me. This also marked the first time I recognized that porn was hurting my loved ones. Since then I’ve had countless encounters of porn and it’s filth attacking those I love. Trying to help those I love has caused porn to become my personal struggle, it caused me to join the war against porn.
I’ve noticed that many people inside, and outside of the Church have joined in the war against porn. But there is something that is hurting us in the war. I have found that our culture is hurting us in the fight against porn in three ways: Shaming, Judging, and a Lack Of Forgiveness.
- Shame Leads To Hiding. Bring It To The Light.
We’ve been taught about the evils of porn so much that to many people it has become something that is a deal breaker. It is viewed with such destain that instead of the young man who is struggling with porn coming to his parents or bishop for help, he is scared about what will happen. How will his parents react? How will his Bishop react? What about his friends? People in the ward?
We all know porn is bad, but I can’t tell you how many young men, and returned missionaries I knew who struggle with porn who are hiding it out of fear of the shaming. Fear of not being able to go on a mission, to the temple, to date and ever find a wife.
This fear of shaming has led them into a losing battle because they can’t find help, they are afraid those who should be there for them will judge and mock them. Instead inciting fear in those who need us, let us reach out and let those around us know we will join them in their personal crusade and struggle against porn! Wise are the words quoted by Marion D. Hanks in Conference, April 1979.
“Holocausts, are caused not only by atomic explosion. A holocaust occurs whenever a person is put to shame.”
~Abraham Joshua Heschel
- Judging. Do We Hate Sin Or The Sinner?
The culture teaches the young women that they deserve a young man who has never indulged in porn. It teaches that if a young man has done it once, he is permanently inclined to porn. There is so much talk of avoiding it we don’t address the fact that many young men have screwed up and watch porn. Then what? Do we want them to repent? or hide it?
Read the rest of the letter at MyLifeByGogoGoff.com
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