Stop Obsessing About Marriage! An Open Letter To My Single Friends.

Stop Obsessing About Marriage! An Open Letter To My Single Friends.


Stop Obsessing About Marriage!

An Open Letter To My Single Friends.

To those like me, who seek for marriage yet find ourselves single it is hard. Often I hear things like “Don’t worry, you’ll find the one” or “It’s just not time yet, keep trying.” But it becomes extremely discouraging to keep trying when you have little success. In early February, I was told by a girl that she was not ready for a relationship and wanted to stop dating.

I started to wonder, “what did I do wrong? When I realized, I was obsessing about marriage. I wanted to find a wife and start a family so badly that I was scaring away girls. I turned to the Gospel for answers, and I found this quote.


“To you single women and men who wish to be married I say this, Do not give up hope. And do not give up trying. But do give up being obsessed with it. The chances are that if you forget about it and become anxiously engaged in other activities, the prospects will brighten immeasurably.”
~Gordon B. Hinckley


I was obsessing about marriage and I needed to stop, it was hurting my dating life, and affecting my happiness. As I read this quote, I asked myself, “What are these other activities that President Hinckley talks about?  What should I do while I am single and trying to find a spouse?” Here are some things we can do to stay anxiously engaged while not obsessing about marriage.

Try Something New. 

When you are obsessing about marriage and how others view you, it drains your desire to try new things. For example, my YSA Stake was having it’s annual skate night at classic skating. I had never skated, and last year I was so afraid of looking like a fool in front of girls that I refused to skate. This year at the behest of my friends I got out of my comfort zone and tried something new, I skated! Did I look awkward? Yes, but I was trying something new, I was living!

So try something it does not matter how big or small it is, if you’ve always wanted to do it, or if you’ve always been afraid there is no time like the present to try something new! Remember, you’re only single once (#yoso) so make the most of it!


Take advantage of this time being single. Once you are dating or married you won’t be able to travel as much if at all. So plan a fun road trip, experience the culture around you. If you served a mission, plan a trip back to visit, start saving today.

Travel can provide you with many opportunities to share and live the gospel. And many culturally refining experiences. It will broaden your understanding of others, and expand your knowledge about their beliefs. I know I am thankful for my road trips, one of my favorite things to do is to visit all the temples along the way as I travel. (So far I’ve gone to 55 temples since I got back from my mission!)

Work at the Temple.

Working at the Temple is an awesome way to prepare for the next phase of life. It may be years or even decades before you have another chance to work at the Temple, take advantage of this opportunity to learn about, and fall in love with the House of the Lord. Working at the Temple allows you gain a greater understanding of the covenants you have made and prepare for the next covenants.
If you want to work at the temple just tell your Bishop and he can get the ball rolling. And if you have not received your endowments yet then try to go to the temple regularly to do baptisms for the dead. Talk with your bishop to set up a plan for receiving your own endowments so you can work in the Temple.



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