Stages That Every Mormon Goes Through When Preparing a Sacrament Talk

1. Realization – A week before your talk and your friends remind you that your talk is only a week away.

 

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2. You try to motivate yourself.

3. You make a deal with yourself: “OK, if I work on it a little bit every day, it will be easy.”

 

4. You’re feeling pretty proud of yourself for how well you’re handling this.

5. Suddenly, it’s Friday night and all you have done is titled your talk in Word as “My Talk”

6. You start to freak out but remind yourself that you still have all day Saturday to do your talk.

7. Well magically it’s Saturday at 9:00 P.M. and you still haven’t done anything.

But at least you had a great pork burrito at Cafe Rio

8. You now have an excuse to go to the grocery store and buy snacks and a drink because it’s going to be a long night.

9. After a great start writing one or two sentences, you have a mini meltdown and start to freak out.

10. You start to think to yourself “WHY DO I DO THIS EVERY TIME!?!”

11. After crying for 15 minutes you start to pull yourself back together.

12. You power through for 45 minutes and get about half of your talk finished. You take a 10 minute break because you are rocking this!

13. Your 10-minute break turned into a 45-minute TV break…

14. You reread your stuff and realize you are just repeating yourself over and over again. You start to think that maybe you’ll just get up early and finish it in the morning.

 

15. After spending the next 30 minutes scrolling aimlessly through your Facebook feed, you decide to hammer it out tonight.

16. It’s 1:00 in the morning and you quickly skim your talk.

17. You realize it really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but your finished and that’s all that matters. You really don’t care at this point. You crash and go to bed.

18. You wake up and go over your talk leaving your spouse to do everything because “you have to get ready for your talk” that should have already been ready to go.

19. As you get ready to go to church, you tell yourself that next time you’ll actually start working on your talk earlier.

20. Congratulations, you finally give your talk and surprisingly it actually goes quite well.