The Church Changes its Policy on Revelation

Editor’s Note: This is a strictly satire piece addressing some criticism of the way that the church currently handles doctrinal issues.


The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has changed its policy regarding policy and doctrinal issues. Previous to this announcement, the church had followed a policy of revelation and inspired guidance from the First Presidency and the Quorum of Twelve Apostles lead by the senior Apostle also referred to as the Prophet.

However, the church has acknowledged that we are living in a different time and era and direct revelation from God is an outdated system of governance. Therefore they have instituted a new system of governance based on majority vote of the membership of the church.

Every two years members will be able to go to and sign in to fill out their personalized ballot of major policy and doctrinal issues facing the church. Any issue that receives a majority vote will be implemented the following conference.

When asked about the new policy change, Jared Harding, the new director for the “God’s Ways Are Outdated” Center stated

“We’re a much more sophisticated society now. Sure listening to God’s Prophets and Apostles might have worked well back in the 1800’s but individuals now days are much smarter than those who lived back then. I mean, who needs inspired guidance when you have Wikipedia and Google. I think we’ve found a better way with this new popularity system that I’m sure will pay dividends for years to come.”

Only time will tell whether or not this new policy change will have a positive impact on members from around the world but according to the latest poll, 50.1% of members believe this new system will work out in the end.

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4 Replies to “The Church Changes its Policy on Revelation”

  1. Maybe people of African descent would have been able to hold the priesthood and go to the temple a few decades sooner if it was done this way…

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