Why I Didn’t Marry an RM?



Back when I was in the Young Women program, I remember being told that RM needed to be at the top of my dating criteria list. Supposedly, dating and marrying an RM meant that my husband-to-be would honor his priesthood, love the Lord, and be everything a good Mormon girl wanted—short of being Prince Charming himself.

But I didn’t marry an RM.

It wasn’t for lack of choice—I attended BYU for four years. There were RMs aplenty, and I dated my fair share. Missionary service was one of the things I asked my dates about, mostly because it made for easy conversation.

But that got me into trouble, more than once, when I asked sweet, active members about their missions—and they hadn’t served or had returned home early. It was always awkward, and I felt terrible for intruding into something they clearly found painful. What was a girl to do?

Enter Mark. He was a quiet boy, but sweet, and as I later learned, he had a crush on me from our first meeting. He also had a secret: he hadn’t served a mission. As we got to know each other throughout the semester, he felt ashamed of his past and was afraid to tell me that he hadn’t served. More than once, he had experienced rejection at the hands of other LDS women who’d also been told, “RM or bust.”

Read the rest at LDS Living

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