It’s one of the most looked to programs during Sacrament meeting, the Primary Program. You see sweet little kids go up and sing and give talks in their adorable little voices. If you’ve been lucky enough to have experienced when a Primary Program goes wrong, you know how funny it can be. If not, here are some hilarious experiences from our fans on our Facebook page. If you have any of your own to add, please add them in the comments below as these are the stories we use for these type of posts.
We Love Thee Heavenly Father
“They were doing the Primary Program during Sacrament Meeting and one of the primary kids was giving the prayer. The teacher was right next to him whispering in his ear the prayer. She said “…and we love Thee Heavenly Father” and he repeated “…and we love Thee Heavenly Father.”
She then said “And we love Thy Son Jesus Christ” and he then said “and I loooove cookies.” The primary teacher quickly said “No, we love Jesus” to which he simply said “No! I love cookies, in the names of Jesus Christ Amen.”
Thankful to Heavenly Father
“One program that I attended a little girl got up and was bearing her testimony of how grateful she was for her family and that Heavenly Father has given us families to live with. She finished by saying that she was also thankful for Heavenly Father allowing us to go poop and pee because she has to do that everyday.”
Being a Big Brother
“Years ago I was visiting my friend in his ward and they had the primary program. One boy got up and talked about how much he loved his family and how excited he was that he was going to be a big brother soon. Well it turned out that the mom just found out that morning and told him but hadn’t told her husband yet because he was the bishop of the ward and left early for meetings. He was clearly shocked and excited. It was funny watching him lip to his wife ‘really? really?’ throughout the program.”
Hurry
“We had a young man in the Primary Program who got up to give his portion of the program. Towards the end of reading the scripture he was reading he started to read faster and faster and quickly closed saying ‘in the name of Jesus Christ amen.’ The second he finished he ran down from the pulpit and through the aisles and ran directly to the bathroom. Apparently he had to go really badly.”
Young Man and His Mom
“An older primary kid got up and started his talk. In the middle of his talk he stops and says ‘mom, stop waving to me! I can see you and it is really distracting so can you just keep your hands to yourself please?’ I was in tears laughing when I heard him say that.”
A Little Girl’s Prayer
“A little girl got up and everyone in her class was talking about prayer. She told a story where she had a favorite rock that she loved very much but that she had lost it. She said ‘I prayed and prayed and prayed to find that rock.’ and very abruptly said ‘and the rock is still lost so if you see it, please tell my mommy.”
Craziness at the Podium
“One of the older boys was reading a scripture and all of a sudden just collapsed. Everyone started to gasp and panic and the bishopric quickly bent down to help him. A few seconds later he got up and back to the podium and said ‘see Dad, I told you I wouldn’t chicken out and now you owe me $10.’ The Dad was so embarrassed he walked out of the Sacrament Meeting. Pretty sure the Dad never thought his son was actually going through with it. Lesson, don’t challenge your kid unless you want to see them excel with flying colors.”
Beet Red
“One of the funniest primary program stories I can remember was a little girl who got up and read a short scripture. In the middle of the scripture he belched accidentally. She gasped and got super embarrassed when all of a sudden could hear a loud fart. Her face got even more red and yelled over the microphone ‘I told you mom that eggs and milk don’t mix well!’ and then promptly sat down. 🙂 🙂 :)”
Our 4-year stood up front during one of the songs. There was not a lot of space so he started pushing the kid next to him to the side. Which ended in a very visible shoving match nearly getting into a fight, while the rest of the kids were singing and the leaders frantically trying to reach them. Nobody remembers the song, but everyone remembers the fight….
We just had our primary presentation today 🙂 or son is in sunbeams and we have been practicing his part lots and he knew it well… However when it came his turn he was so scared he started saying prayer instead of his part!
Awww what a sweetheart
! Cute! Our son did the same thing 13 yrs ago! He had his part memorized, stood at the podium and began, “Dear Heavenly Father, …. Oh. Wait. That’s not it!” Of course, it was cute and laughter ensued. Afterward, I found out he was mortally embarrassed, even at 4 yrs old. I understand how it was hard not to laugh, though. It was cute.
One spirited kid got about three words in and then said that she didn’t want to, and so we moved on to the next kid, there are only 7 sunbeams in the class.
One of the junior members of the primary got up to read his part. He evidently underestimated the volume of his voice and practically shouted his part, which was just a small one-liner, into the microphone. Everyone either jumped or put their hands over their ears. That kid had some good lungs.
During our ward program one year, a primary class was reciting the ten commandments. A little girl went up to say her line. “Thou shalt…” She paused. “Thou shalt…” The lady helping the children started whispering, “Not! Thou shalt not!” The girl just stared at the audience and finished: “Thou shalt…commit adultery.”
Im gonna cry
My 6 year old granddaughter was in primary when the primary president ask the class is anyone had ever done anything nice for them. My granddaughter raised her hand and said “this morning my little brother was punching me in the face and my mom told him to stop it”!. Her mom said. “Yep, I won the greatest mom in the world award for that one.”
i’m going to die laughing
We had our primary program today. I teach CTR4 and have 11 beautiful kids 🙂 During the practice for the program, some of the kids figured out you can remove the caps to the bolts that hold the chairs to floor. I had hoped that we had nipped this in the bud by talking to parents and wouldn’t have to worry about it during the actual program. No such luck! I still had 2 kids climb under the chairs and pull off the bolt caps!! At Christmas I think I’ll ask for some help keeping them in their seats hehe
When my grandson was 4 he was saying his part, that he had down to a tee, and he saw my son’s friend in the congregation and blurted out, “oh, there’s my Antnee” then went right back and finished his part. It took a while for the laughter to die down after that.
I still can’t believe it. I tried it out cause I got really desperate and now I couldn’t be happier. Heres what I do
I still can’t believe it. I tried it out cause I got really desperate and now I couldn’t be happier. Heres what I doThis is what I do,
➜➜➜➜➜➜➜➜➜➜➜ check₄₄．ｃｏｍ
JUST GO TO THE SITE TO BELIEVE
Last year my then 5yo said she was so grateful for President Monster instead of Monson. I still laugh when I think about it!
One time a little boy was in line to say his part. Once he finished, he ran as fast as he could down the stairs off the podium (to his mom, I thought) and kept running out of the chapel all together!
One year, a Sunbeam (age 3 or 4) grabbed the mic, pressed it against his mouth, and yelled his part. The microphones are pretty sensitive and it was LOUD! The entire congregation jumped about a foot and then laughed. It was pretty great 🙂
A friend of mine in a neighboring Ward posted this a week ago:
So the Primary Program was today in church. Best quote was the 9 or 10 year old boy who said, from the podium, “Going under the water and back up again when we are baptized is representative of Jesus’ death and resurrection. But if you don’t come back up again then you really die and it’s not representative anymore.”
In the last primary program before my mission, I was a primary teacher and my mother was the chorister. I was sitting, thinking on the end of the pew with my class, which was in front of the stand because we had a MASSIVE primary. My mother was stressing out about everything and practically running around trying to get things in their place. She sits down just before the 1st counselor gets up to start the meeting, calming herself down and thinking that everything was fine.
I’m looking down at the ground as the 1st counselor goes through the usual intro, until he said “Presiding at this meeting is Elder Dallin H Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.” My head bolts up to see Elder Oaks sitting about 15 feet in front of me on the stand. No one had noticed him come in. I’m pretty sure I heard my mother give a little yelp from across the chapel.
The Program goes just fine, and after Elder Oaks gets up and says it was a great program. He’s a pretty funny guy in person.
When my daughter was a Sunbeam, she stole the show at the Primary program. She was right in front, and for every song she was making up her own hand motions, dancing, and belting out the words. I think she thought she was a pop star and everyone was there just to see her. Afterward as people were leaving the chapel I kept hearing, “That little girl in the front was hysterical.”
Now I’m the chorister and that daughter is 8 but I have another daughter who is 5. When we had the kids up on the stand to sing for Father’s Day, I thought everything was fine, and I cued in the pianist. As soon as the kids started singing I noticed my 5-year-old (then 4) sobbing hysterically right in the front row. I was conducting the music so there wasn’t anything I could do, and I knew the song would be over soon. I had NO idea why she was freaking out! Turns out she had wanted to stand by her brother. You would have thought someone had cut her arm off or something. *sigh*
These are so hillarious! Kids are so much fun. We had a not hillarious moment at our primary program when my little sunbeam (newly potty trained) tried to leave her seat to go potty. The first counselor kept putting her back in her chair, and eventually she pooped her pants. ON THE CHAIR. She was mortified! So was I and we went home mid primary program. Naturally other kids were freaking out. Now its been a few years and my husband and I still laugh privately at the whole ordeal.
Oh goodness. I bet the first counselor felt terrible!
Three girls, about age 6, stood at the podium to sing a song. The two girls at either end had a tug-of-war with the microphone. As soon as one pulled it to her mouth, the other would pull it right back to her own. This went on the entire song, with the poor little girl in the middle looking puzzled.
my son was in sunbeams last year and he started singing like an opera singer every song with the hands motioning outward too. Hilarious!
Our chorister has taken a lot of trips which means a lot of substitutes. The week before the program she had a sub come in and they practiced the songs for the program as well as a few fun ones. One game she played was to see how long the children could hold a note. They had to keep their eye on her to see when to stop and start. The game was a great success! The next week during the program all the junior primary sang their hearts out making sure to hold the notes long after the pianist was done playing.
I had sat beside the chorister during the program to help with the music. As funny as it was to hear the children hold the notes forever, it was even funnier when the chorister sat down and said she couldn’t understand why the children were doing that since the last practice she had with them they sang perfectly!
It was a week before general conference when this program took place, and this cute little girl was handed the microphone and said in a loud voice, “We’re all going to be crucified!” There was a pause filled with surprised chortles and muffled laughter when the girl corrected herself. “I mean, resurrected.”
We started the morning of our Primary Program with quite a few children calling in sick. Our Bishop then stood up to start the meeting only to pass out. Soon after, one of the children proceeded to throw up. All I could think of was “How are we going to top this next year!”.
My favorite hilarious “Primary in Sacrament Meeting” moment wasn’t actually the program, it was when the kids came up to sing for Mother’s Day. After the song was over, a boy (about 6) ran up to the microphone, screamed “POOP!” into it, then vaulted over the front of the stand instead of using the stairs. I was SO caught off guard, I started laughing uncontrollably (silently). My kids were all astonished at me (I normally don’t laugh at that kind of humor). I was sitting up front, and the bishop saw my convulsions of silent laughter, and he started, too. He could hardly speak as he attempted to continue conducting the meeting. The most hilarious part was on Father’s Day, when the bishop stood up as the kids were coming up for the singing, and removed the microphone from the podium as he grinned at me.
Last year my 3year (at the time) son was the youngest in the primary. He was asked to re-give a talk he had given in primary earlier in the year. It was a great talk he had helped me write about Noah and baptism, and we had practiced it over and over. I would tell him a line, and he would repeat it. Unfortunately no one will ever remember his great talk because when He stood up at the microphone the first thing from his mouth was a hiccup. I was laughing so hard I could barely give him his lines. The congregation was barely keeping it together. But he just kept going, hiccups and all, finishing strong with a loud hiccup. He hardly even cracked a smile, which is amazing because he loves making people laugh. I was wiping tears as I returned to my seat. I can’t remember ever laughing that hard.
When my son was 6 or 7, he had a poem about Jesus being baptized that he was supposed to read. It started out “Jesus Christ was baptized and I’ll be baptized too” but what he said was “Jesus Christ was a Baptist and I’ll be a Baptist too”.
My son, now an adult, had memorized his line perfectly. “A Testimony is Knowledge from the Holy Ghost.” The program went fine. However, we soon found ourselves in a Testimony meeting. He wanted to bare his Testimony. I was very shy at the time and didn’t want to go up and help him and I was sitting in the middle of our row. First, he giggled into the microphone, then he looked at me and loudly whispered, “What do I say?” I tried to make myself smaller. Then, he perked up with confidence and declared, “A Testimony is Knowledge from the Holy Ghost!” and sat down. Many were impressed with the deep wisdom in his statement. I was very proud of my little boy. 🙂
Our large primary used up every space available to sit in our small chapel’s choir seats plus all the extra chairs we could squeeze in. A beautiful little hungry blonde angel was sitting behind the sacrament table. Each time the children stood to sing she used her folded hands to sneak the leftover sacrament bread from under the cloth and then pop it into her mouth … Hands still folded…but looking as innocent and sweet as ever. Her very round ,innocent, who me??? Eyes were a dead give away that something was up!!
As a stake primary president I’ve seen lots of funny moments but the best or should I say worst happened when I was the Primary president. I was super nervous and excited for my first program. I guess I wasnt the only one when a boy stood up abruptly and threw up chilli all over the pathway next to the pulpit. Luckily, my husband jumped in without being asked and cleaned it up as I wisked the kid out the door like a magician. My husband never looked more like the white knight in shining armor then that day being barf encrusted.
When my son was a Sunbeam, he was assigned to say the prayer. He folded his arms, closed his eyes and said, “Heavenly father, please bless this food so we may be healthy and strong. In the name of JC, Amen.”
A family was singing during the program. Not sure why the parents were there, but the youngest boy, maybe four, was right next to the microphone. You couldn’t even tell the rest of the primary was singing. Between verses, the kid said, “Wow I’m loud!”
My oldest son is 4 and its the first time he has been brave enough to participate in the primary program. He usually wont sit up there. Being one of the little ones, he of course, was in the middle of front row for all to see. For the entire program, he made horrible faces like he was in incredible pain and mouthed the words, “I’m hungry… Can I have a granola bar?… I’m bored… Why is this taking SO long?… Can I play on your phone?… Why not!?… Then can I go poop?… Can I take your phone with me?…” Everyone kept signalling me and telling me how funny he was. I wanted to hide under the pew. :-/
In my ward last year during the program these two little boys are twins and they got up together to give their part and one of them got scared and started crying and his brother just put an arm around him and told him it was ok, walked him back to his seat and then came back to the pulpit and gave his part then sat back down with his brother.
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