Recently we asked our fans on Facebook to tell us some of their most embarrassing moments during Sacrament Meeting. So we have posted some of the funniest comments that were made. Also, if you have any stories of your own, feel free to post them in the comments below and we’ll share them in a future post.
“My wife went up to the podium during Fast Sunday and started thanking the members for their help and support while I was recovering from my broken scrotum. After she finished her testimony I went up and said ‘just as a point of clarification I broke my sternum, not my scrotum. Kind of a big difference.'”
“This my friend observed. She was sitting behind a family with young children. When the sacrament was being passed the parents required the children to stop activities such as coloring, and to be quiet. The littlest girl wasn’t to keen on that. The father kept whispering she should be quieter, to which she replied, ‘why?’ The father then explained that its because we love Jesus and Jesus wants us to be quiet, to which she yells, ‘I hate Jesus, He always shushes me!’ The parents turned as red as tomatoes.”
3. Hot dog
“My nephew threw a hot dog at the bishop. Yep. Not sure why there was a hot dog”
4. Peanut Butter – Never Again
“This was years ago when we had just joined the church, he was like 2 or 3. For lunch he wanted to eat a peanut butter and cheese sandwich, so my mom made it for him. Never again! He had the WORST gas from it,, it was so noxious smelling, and he kept tooting all through Sacrament. And since he was sitting on my mom’s lap, everyone smelled it and thought it was my mom and kept looking at her with gross looks on their faces. My mom was SO embarrassed. From that day, Ben was never allowed to have that sandwich again.”
5. “I Love Cookies”
“They were doing the Primary Program during Sacrament Meeting and one of the primary kids was giving the prayer. The teacher was right next to him whispering in his ear the prayer. She said “…and we love Thee Heavenly Father” and he repeated “…and we love Thee Heavenly Father.”
She then said “And we love Thy Son Jesus Christ” and he then said “and I loooove cookies.” The primary teacher quickly said “No, we love Jesus” to which he simply said “No! I love cookies, in the names of Jesus Christ Amen.”
6. Help Bishop!
“one time my 3yr old was being very noisy in sacrament and while I am taking him out he yells ‘Help me Bishop'”
“My two year old sings every hymn shouting the words ‘na na na na na na na na batman, batman!!’ With enthusiasm , EVERY TIME.”
“18 yrs ago, my normally extremely shy, reserved 2 yr old yells out (it’s dead silent ~ I mean VERY reverent) ‘MY PEEPEE IS STICKING UP!!!!’ I wanted to crawl through a hole and die.”
9. Fire Truck
“We had a foster child that would repeatedly say the “F” word when he didn’t get what he wanted. He wanted to eat handfuls so when I didn’t let him, he proceeded to chant the obscene word. Luckily, he also had a speech issue. So, my husband carried him out saying louder than him, ‘Fire Truck? You want your Fire Truck? Ya buddy, we’ll go get your Fire Truck.’ over and over…totally pulled it off.”
10. Too Long!
“When we were little, my older brother stood up on the bench in the middle of the prayer and yelled, ‘THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG!!!’. Coincidentally, he is also the same brother that pulled down my moms skirt as she was conducting the music.”
“As I said ‘amen’ in giving the closing prayer, I could hear my little boy scream at the top of his lungs “Amen!” while waving his little arms in the air.”
12. Shut it
“During the sacrament, when it was so quiet, my daughter yelled at her brother to ‘shut his pie hole'”
13. Ankle biter
“When a friend of mine was a toddler, she used to sneak underneath the benches and crawl around biting women’s ankles. Sometimes her parent wouldn’t notice until they heard a yelp from two rows back. Her ward nicknamed her ‘Baby Jaws’.”
14. Don’t Beat Me
“My daughter who was about 2 years old was being sort of naughty, so I took her by the hand to quietly walk out when she screamed ‘No, don’t beat me, don’t beat me’. It was very embarrassing. Lol. She is now 15 going on 25”
15. Not enough
“My son yelled out as they brought the sacrament tray around, ‘I’m WAY thirstier than that!'”
“My daughter was born early and had severe reflux. During sacrament meeting, she once projectile vomited onto the people sitting on the bench in front of us. I was mortified.”
17. Justin Bieber
“While the young men were passing the Sacrament, the High Councilman’s phone went off. All of a sudden you could hear the words ‘Baby, baby, baby ohhhh like baby, baby, baby.’ Yeah, he had a Justin Bieber song for his ringtone.”
313 Replies to “17 Incredibly Embarrassing Funny Moments During Sacrament Meeting”
I was late to sacrament meeting, as I walk in and sat down on the folding chairs in the back the chair broke I screamed and fell on the floor everyone turned around and looked at me.
One Sunday while the sacrament was being passed when my daughter was about 3 months old, she belched quite loudly. Everyone turned to look, and I got several strange looks. I’m pretty sure my face was bright red
We were visiting a ward one day for a baby blessing. A little boy, about 5 years old, got up to bear his testimony. It was going well, standard 5 year old testimony until the last line… “And I am thankful that God created all the animals, because I really like to eat meat.”
I thought my non-member father was going to pass out from stifling his laughter.
Heeheehee! #1 was in my parents’ ward. So funny. This list is perfect.
#17 made me spit out my drink.
Laughing to the point of crying!
We are in a ward where the children outnumber the adults about 5 to 1 so needless to say our meetings are not normally very quiet. The one Sunday where most of our ward was gone so you could actually hear everything, in the middle of the Sacrament, My 3 month old started explosively tooting/pooping. The first time we chuckled to ourselves but by the 3rd explosion everyone around us was laughing hysterically and you better believe we were out to change that diaper as soon as they were done passing the Sacrament!
We lived in Philadelphia when my husband was going to school and we often had slightly unconventional testimony meetings. There was a man who had recently joined the church who was a gospel singer and he would get up on Fast Sunday and sing his testimony. Being a professional singer, his voice filled the chapel. My then 2 year old daughter (who is now a missionary serving in the Philippines) would stand up on the bench, stick her fingers in her ears and yell “too loud!”
Has anyone noticed that most of these are dealing with kids??? I can’t decide which is best…6, 13, or 15.
A teenage girl began to give a talk in Sacrament. She stated that she was excited because it was her first talk, and that she needed to take a selfie to remember the occasion. She then pulled out her cell phone, told everyone in the congregation to smile, turned around and took the picture. Everyone laughed, but I wished the bishop had said something about not taking pictures in Sacrament Meeting.
When my wife’s family went to church years ago the kids brought some balloons they had found at home. They sat down the pew from their parents and the meeting began. Half way through the older brother pulls out the balloon….and starts blowing it up. It gets larger and larger and pretty soon the family behind them starts to laugh as the balloon come into full view. Her parents looked down the pew to see what was going on when they noticed their kids were blowing up a condom.
This is a famous story in my family: when my aunt was a little girl, she started throwing a huge fit during sacrament. My grandpa picked her up and proceeded to take her out of the room, and she screams: “NO DADDY! NOT THE BELT! PLEASE NOT THE BELT!!!”
When I was a teenager, we had a older gentleman that would get up every fast sunday to bear his testimony, which would border on lengthy discourses. My best friends dad was bishop and one fast sunday the gentleman got up and began. After a very lengthy testimony which was not likely to end any time soon. I noticed the bishop ( who was rather tall) slouch in his chair. The older gentleman keep stopping and looking at the floor and after about 5 min. he said “Bishop will you quit kicking my leg.” Needless to say the bishop was a bit red in the face.
A friend of mine was sitting on the front row with her 3 boys. In the middle of one of the talks, the youngest boy turned to his mother and in a VERY loud voice said “BORING”.
One time my boyfriend and I were in sacrament meeting and he went to eat a mint lifesaver. All of a sudden he starts gagging and he grabs my arm. I panicked because he was turning dark red. I jumped up in the middle of the sacrament hymn and he was choking on a mint. I dragged him out to the foyer to help him but He went to the restroom and ended up throwing/gagging it up so loud you could hear it in the chapel during the blessing of the sacrament. I was so embarrassed and he is no longer allowed to have mints. Also the resident doctors have moved their seats a little closer and always give him a hard time now.o
Last sacrament meeting during one of the talks, everyone’s phones starting randomly going off for one of those loud amber alert systems. It wasn’t all at once either, everyone’s went off a different times for at least the next 5 minutes. I felt so bad for the person who was speaking’
One Sunday church had started and a member of the bishopris family had come in after the opening prayer and opening hymn had been sung. It was fairly quiet in the chapel when they walked in and the youngest girl was about 5 and she saw my brother sitting in the chapel and she said in a louder than normal voice, “Look mom there’s Thomas.” My brother shrunk down in his seat with a red face. I have never seen him more embarassed in my life. It was quite funny.
I was going to be sustained as the Primary President of our ward. I decided that my family and I should sit down in the first, front row of the chapel so that all of the children in our ward would know who I was. I was wearing a blouse and skirt. Unknown to me, my then three year old son, who was sitting beside me, was also sitting on my skirt. When the bishop asked me to stand to be sustained, I enthusiastically jumped up. However, my skirt fell off me stayed on the bench. So there I was standing before our entire, ward congregation in my slip.
I was going to be sustained as the Primary President of our ward. I
decided that my family and I should sit down in the first, front row of
the chapel so that all of the children in our ward would know who I was.
I was wearing a blouse and skirt. Unknown to me, my then three year
old son, who was sitting beside me, was also sitting on my skirt. When
the bishop asked me to stand to be sustained, I enthusiastically jumped
up. However, my skirt fell off me and stayed on the bench. So there I was
standing before our entire, ward congregation in my slip.
That’s why we were slips! 🙂
I was a toddler who liked root beer. Just as the chapel got quiet for the owning prayer I belted out, “I want some BEER!”
A long time member once wanted to use testimony meeting to express his love for a crush he had. He then pulled out his phone, held it up to the microphone and sang along to the song in tone-deaf broken english.
From a Single’s Ward…One of my friends gave a talk. She had been told that the third speaker backed out and to go ahead and add a little more time into hers. That could have gone unsaid, as she likes to wax philosophical from time to time. As she droned on (leaving the other speaker only 10 minutes), one by one, the bishop, the first counselor, the second counselor, the 2nd counselor in the stake presidency and our stake high council rep (who were visiting) all bowed their heads for their afternoon nap.
The sister speaking said that one of the ways to overcome adversity included talking to someone “who has been there before,” which included “any of the men behind me.” At that mention, all 5 of their heads popped up in unison. Everyone in the congregation was trying not to chuckle. We all saw it. The unity in their reaction was comedic genius. Definitely not a boring sacrament meeting after that. Even the high councilman struggled keeping a straight face. I’m pretty sure he recognized what the congregation was giggly about, since he was sitting in a pew behind the other 4.
Also, I’ll bet the Belieber bishop had a teenager who hacked his phone and called him.
Our first day in a new ward my 2 year old got away and ran all the way up to the front and across before I could catch him. Couple weeks later he did it again and I even had to enlist an older sibling to go one way while I went the other so we could pin him in. He now stays in his stroller until time for nursery most weeks. He adores nursery. Sacrament meeting not so much. But he does now fold his arms and bow his head for prayers. And he says Amen quite loudly with hands thrown up high. Kind of like an “Ooh yay!” moment. And just to put it out there: I personally would not mind at all if someone saw the running game going on and just reached out and grabbed him as he ran by and held him til I got there.
When my daughter was about 7 she asked her dad to go up during testimony meeting. He wasn’t feeling up to it and when she pushed him for a why, he teased “because I’m an evil sinner” She promptly stood up and marched to the pulpit and announced that her daddy couldn’t bear his testimony today because he was an evil sinner. The entire congregation bursted into laughter and the bishop stood up and said in to the microphone “Brother Neff, I’d like to see you in my office after this meeting”!
A woman finished her testimony with “I’m sorry I’m such a boob.” Then the bishop gets up and says, don’t worry, we like big boobs, before he had a chance to realize what he just said!
My husband also was there for this! Granite ward, right?
That is hilarious!
Wow I would die of embarrassment
I don’t if this happened in the same ward, but this also happened in my brother-in-law’s ward.
I’m a single mom of 3 1/2-year-old twins. My girls have never seen my ex-husband. We got divorced before they were born. Brand-new in award, and my then two-year-olds were acting up one of them was acting a little worse than the other so I needed to take care of her. The other when jumped on my lap put her arms around the neck of the man in front of us and yelled to the top of her lungs my daddy. Got a few laps but mostly got a lot of stairs. Lotta people looked at me and looked at the man and his large family and wife and looked back at me and my girls it was the most embarrassing moment I’ve ever had.
I was listening to the bishop’s young son give his testimony, and during it he mentioned that his family is trying not to say the f-word so much. As soon as he stepped down, the bishop grabbed the microphone and clarified that “By the way, in our home, the f-word is ‘fart’!”
When my daughter was not quite three I wouldn’t let her keep the sacrament water cup. She said in a very loud voice “Damn you!” Um, ya, I was mortified.
My oldest was a bit of a handful as a little kid. One time he was sitting so nice and quiet for the sacrament, I was so proud. I thought, maybe, he’d gotten to the age he would settle down a bit. The young men were blessing the water and I thought things were going great. My, then 4 yr old, must have listened to the words of the prayer for the first time because in the middle of the silence he shouted out “we don’t drink blood!!”
My little girl said the a very similar thing of “ew I’m not drinking that blood, don’t drink the blood!”
When my son was two we watched a lot of BYU football, during the silent part of the sacrament he stands up on the bench, raises his arm in the air and starts chanting “go BYU! go BYU! bo BYU!”
I was the Primary chorister for a time in our ward. It was our Primary program Sunday. I was seated in the very front, next to the podium in a small childs chair. It was time for the kids to sing, so I stood to cue the children to stand. As I did so, I realized I had stepped on my skirt, pulling it down to my knees, baring all. I quickly sat down and did my best to pull my skirt back up, tucking in my slip and again stand up. It wasn’t until the end of the program and I was visiting with my family when they told me that my slip had been hanging out the whole time.
It was fast and testimony meeting and my brothers friend who was sitting with us fell asleep. After about 3 testimonies there was a long lull. So my brother nudged his friend and said “bishop just called on you to give the closing prayer” so he got up said the closing prayer and came and sat down. After which the bishop got up and said “that was lovely, I would like to officially reopen this testimony meeting for the remainder of the hour.”
By far the best story on here! 🙂
I second Nate… My wife and I couldn’t stop laughing at this one! By far the best! Thanks for sharing!
That is one of the funniest things I have ever heard!
My mom has the same story about her seminary teacher! She says that her seminay teacher was the one nudging his friend!
Hey, Tal E. Walker, “me thinks thou dost protest to much.” I bet you were the friend who said the prayer!
My sisters pulled this on my more than once
I just laughed so hard I cried! Love this!
I’ve heard this one a lot. As funny as it is, I’m think this is made up
I laughed so hard I am wheezing!! Tears are coming down my cheeks. I needed that laugh:) Thank you for sharing. I have told my teenage son who would like to reenact this story someday:)
I’ve heard Steve Young tell this story about himself.
Cry-laughing so hard right now. Thanks for sharing!
When my brother was about 2, my mom dropped him off for nursery and came back a few min later to check on him but he wasn’t there and the teacher told my mom he never came. My mom figured he left while her back was turned and frantically started searching the church for him when she suddenly hears the speakers come on with the voice of my brother. “I hate church!!!!!!!!!! I hate all of you!!!!” He had run up to the podium, All during another wards sacrament meeting ringing throughout the pure silence screams words of hatred. During. Sacrement. 0-0. My mom was absolutely mortified and found him being dragged out of the chapel screaming and crying in that wards bishop’s arms. She made triple sure he stayed put in nursury from then on.
My oldest two children are just a year apart in age, so keeping them reverent in church was a challenge. I bought a book of file folder games that you could make to entertain them during Sacrament. One of them was called “Word of Wisdom Winners”. It had one side where you put things that were good for your body onto it, and a trash can on the other side for things that are bad for your body. My son was playing with it as the Sacrament was being passed. He misplaced a few of the pieces, and when It was dead silent,yelled out, “Where’s my beer and cigarettes!”
That’s so hilarious…my favorite
I was playing the organ in a singles ward and one of the men passing the Sacrament to me accidentally tripped and knocked over the organ bench on to the pedals…it was dead quiet and then suddenly there were these loud and long sustained notes going off, followed by short staccato notes as he walked on the pedals to lift the bench back in place. Worst part: he was a new convert and that was his first Sunday passing the Sacrament. Best part: the Bishopric member conducting was awesome and after the Sacrament was over, he made some remark about the Spirit being so strong that the Heavens opened and music poured out Ü Ü
that is awesome! nice recovery bishopric!
When my son was about 3 years old, a gentleman was bearing his testimony in sacrament meeting. He said he was thankful for his family and his friends. My son (who didn’t seem to be listening at all) turned, pointing his finger at the man, and yelled, “NO! THEY’RE MY FRIENDS!”
That is amazing
Once during the middle of the passing
of the sacrament on a fast Sunday, one of my younger brothers who
was a toddler at the time and normally very quiet, stood up on the
bench and yelled out so everyone in the congregation could hear, “I’m
HUNGY”. My parents realized that everyone else in the family had
been fasting and no one had remembered to feed him. Embarrassed that
the ward might be thinking that these mean parents were forcing a
toddler to fast, my dad picked him up, took him out and they went
home where he was promptly fed a sandwich.
We normally sat on the 3rd row in the center section of the chapel during Sacrament Meeting. One Sunday during the middle of a talk being given by a member of the High Council, our son who was three at the time, threw his sippy cup right at the speaker, falling just short of the podium on the carpet in front of the 1st row. Starting the next week, we sat on the side!
I attended the wedding of one of my former young women at the Newport Temple. While standing on the steps taking family pictures, someone’s phone began playing current “pop” music. I thought that it was possibly one of the young family members of the groom who were not members of the church and might not realize that it was not really appropriate to be playing music such as that while on the temple grounds. The photo shoot went on as the next song began to play; “I know what you want, what you really, really want…” I was mortified as the group dispersed and I realized that it was MY phone that was playing the music! I must have accidentally touched a button on my phone while rifling through my purse as I wouldn’t have known how to turn it on if I wanted to…or off, for that matter, so I quickly passed it to someone standing nearby imploring them to turn it off for me.
On mother’s day the primary sang mother dear I love you so. Right after they finished singing we heard this little kid in the congregation holler (while the rest of us were quite) “I HATE THAT SONG!” We had a quick chuckle than hurried and quieted down so the primary could finish the rest of their songs!
A long time ago one of the speakers at my parents ward was from the high council. As soon as the brother got to the podium, my dad’s cell phone, as loud as it could go, said “message from the dark side, there is”. He was mortified.
I just about died laughing here. This is beautiful.
Once in sacrament meeting my 3-year-old son was coloring and our of the blue yelled, “No, Daddy, don’t throw me down the stairs! Don’t throw me down the stairs, Daddy!” Yeah, try explaining that one. To everybody who looked over, my husband is explaining, “I don’t throw him down the stairs.” I think he said that to everybody who talked to him that day.
One Sunday, when my son was about 2.5yo, the topic was on the Holy Ghost. My son has always had a fascination with spooky things (who knows why), so this is always a topic that we have to clarify for him. First two speakers gave their talks without any discussion on our end. But about halfway through the last speaker, right in a lull of sound, he blurts out, “The Holy Ghost is a scary ghost. He says, ‘BOO!'”
Had a high councilmen talk about shooting a burglar in his home.
Had a high councilman compare how our life is like the game Halo.
My Husband and I taught the sunbeams. Our lesson had us ask the question “what does your mommy and daddy do to show that they love you?” When we asked this one boy who mind you is very discriptive and loves to take over the lessons and tell us a lot about his parents and how they discipline him. He proceeds to answer with a smile “they get naked”. We were totally shocked and could see he had more to that answer and in my mind while I see the other children focused on him I started to changed the antention elsewhere.
My oldest son, when he was eight and we had just explained where he came from, replied he was glad that we loved HIM enough to do that, but he was going to adopt HIS children and never get naked in front of a girl.
When we were visiting my husband’s home ward (where his dad was bishop), our kids (2 and 4) started arguing while the sacrament was being passed. The argument began to escalate, and all of a sudden our daughter (the 2-year-old) yelled out at the top of her lungs to our son (the 4-year-old), “YOU BIG PENIS!”
Yup, pretty mortifying.
In our first ward after we were married we were sitting in the middle of sacrament meeting. You could tell our bishop was not feeling well, but he was trying to continue conducting the meeting. It was ward conference so he was speaking for several minutes. Our stake president was there, who also happened to be his father in law. The bishop had made it most of the way through his talk when he went completely white and wide-eyed. Someone literally yelled, “He’s going down!” As he started to pass out. His 1st councilor was a doctor and tried to make sure he was ok. He was able to get back up and continue his talk, but lasted only a few moments before passing out a second time. His first councilor called the paramedics this round! Thr stake president took it upon himself to explain to the congregation how he was “not a very physical man” & had been up all night working e working on a home repair the day before. Poor guy! Bad enough to pass out 2x but to be called a pansy by the Stake President and your father in law! It’s been well over 10 years but that is still one of our most memorable meetings!
My wife and I were recently married and attending Sacrament Meeting. The final speaker was long winded and it was way past time to close the meeting when he started to bear his testimony. The “I knows” seemed to go on forever. An old man sitting behind us was obviously getting impatient, and suddenly said, in a voice loud enough to be heard several rows around, “I wonder if he KNOWS what time it is!”
A young man gave a talk once on how the computer game “Kings Quest” was similar to obeying the commandments. It ended up being a talk entirely about how to pass each level of the game with a single mention of how it was supposed to relate to Christ at the beginning. The bishop finally stood up and had the boy end his talk and sit down.
Random, but I loved that game!
My then 2 year old HATED wearing panties. If I blinked, she took them off. Like 40 times a day. Somehow she got them off one Sunday morning and got to Stake Conference, front row, without them. Then, in the middle of someone speaking, she leaps up, shouts “I gotta pee” and runs for the door, hoisting her dress up over her head the whole way. Lovely.
My littlest, also at 2, after the bread and water were passed, said in a quite loud voice “Now they going to ring us chicken?”
When I was a deacon the bishop’s son sitting next to me pulled out an M80 firecracker and a lighter while we were seated to pass sacrament. During the opening hymn He was passing the firecracker back and forth near the flame while laughing at us for shaking our heads no as vigorously as we could muster. Sure enough just after the song ended and right after we hear “Dear Heavenly Father” I hear the unmistakable sound of a lit fuse next to me and open my eyes just in time to see the kid lean forward and pitch the explosive device under the pews where it landed 3 rows behind us. The explosion was louder than anything I had ever heard. Men, women, and children of all ages screamed like banshees. The bishop jumped up and made a bee line for the culprit and escorted him away for punishment. When my friend grew up and became bishop of the same ward the old firecracker in sacrament story would surface every now and again and served as better punishment than the original I’m sure.
Sunday after thanksgiving we sang a thanksgiving song. My young brother was very upset and screamed at the top of his lungs “It’s Not THANKS GIVING!!!”
My 2 year old son, went through a get mad and remove his clothing stage, I was in sacrament meeting with him and his two sister’s one beautiful spring day when he decided he’d had enough church. Stood up announced I’M OUTTA HERE>>> stripped his clothing off and then crawled quickly under three rows of pews and down the hall laughing his minacale little laugh…
Sammy the Lamanite
A few months ago our Elders Quorum president was talking in Sacrament. In the middle of his talk, a 4 year old boy named Sammy walked up to the stand, looked out over the congregation, then proceeded to climb OVER the half-wall to get back down.
The best part is, his parents were so busy with their other 3 kids that they didn’t know it happened until after Sacrament meeting.
My friend and I were kids of the 80s. He even had many older brothers that loved the popular music of the 80s. As a young boy, my friend listened very closely to what his brothers listened to. During one sacrament meeting when my friend was probably 6 or 7 or so, my friend decided to share the music with the congregation. He stood up on the pew and started singing a popular 80s song that goes like this: You don’t have to take your clothes off, no no, to have a good time.
I guess it technically has a good moral to the lyrics.
My brother has Asperger’s syndrome, when we were little he would always take a handful of bread when it came to him. My dad told him before church to only take one that day. So when the tray got to him, my dad pretended to not be watching and shook his head and pointed at my brother when he took a huge handful….my brother put on his poker face and chucked the entire handful of bread up into the air behind his head and was like, “What? Nothing fishy here!” I’ve NEVER laughed so hard in my life!!
Several years ago we were sitting near the front of the chapel for the primary program. All the cute little sunbeams were lined up on the front row as the primary children in front of the choir seats began to sing. The audience watched in horror as a mischieveous little three year old boy pulled a rubberband out of his pocket and began stretching it with his fingers and aiming it at people in the audience. There were nervous chuckles as people n the congregation noticed what was happening and began weaving and ducking when the boy aimed their way.
He eventually let the rubberband go and it luckily didn’t take anyone out!
Sad, But funny. During testimony meeting a young girl got up to bare her testimony. She was doing fine until she said, “I know Abraham Lincoln was a true prophet. ” the congregation started to chuckle, not to make fun but I’m sure it surprised everyone. The girl was so embarrassed, she ran off before finishing her testimony.
My son said he knows President Clinton is a prophet. Then he realized his mistake and hit his head like Homer Simpson and said “Oh!” : )
One time we showed up late to sacrament meeting so we were sitting out in the foyer and we had a little two year old and all he wanted to do was yell and play. He was being to loud so we took him into the nursery. Somehow he managed to climb on top of a kitchen set and pull the fire alarm. We left the room to find the stake presidency booking it down the halls to find the problem and the whole congregation going outside only for us to tell them that he had pulled the alarm.
Are you in Florida? Because I think I was there. If not, it’s more commmon than you think!
It’s happened in Washington too! 🙂
My Mom was in town helping with our 3 kiddos under age 4. While the sacrament was being passed, she was helping our 3 year old son color quietly. At home, my wife and I usually refer to our childrens’ body parts with correct anatomical names. Our boy asks grandma to draw him a hump back whale, then a shark, a bigger shark, etc. Apparently, this wasn’t to his standards because he asks her to give the shark a penis. Slightly embarrassed, grandma reluctantly adds a penis to the shark to which my boy shouts out his disapproval: “No Grandma, a BIG PENIS! Draw him a BIG PENIS!”
Ha. Ha. We’ve run into similar snags with our anatomically informed daughter. Like the time she wanted to make genitals for the snowman she was building with her aunt (she was 2).
When my oldest was 3 she was quite the artist. She loved to draw pictures and then give them to the people around us. There was a newer couple in the ward and she decided to draw a picture for the husband and gave it to him. I saw them shake with laughter while looking at the picture. Later I saw that she had drawn a portrait of him making sure to include his penis. Her drawings were censored after that.
One time during sacrament my younger brother (at the time a deacon) was being the bishops messenger, well you can imagined what happened after going to bed late the night before. He was sleeping, practically snoring…in front of everyone for the whole sacrament meeting! We took photos for memories. But I think everyone remembers that day. ROFL :p
Years ago a young women in my ward and her little sister had been newly activated in the church. The younger sibling on fast Sunday wanted to share her testimony so she gets up there and says the usual thankamony stuff and then says “I know satan is a true prophet”
The primary children from our ward began singing “Mother I love you” for this special day to celebrate all the moms. My 5 year old son and another boy that he did not get along started to swing fists and both boys made contact and timed it perfectly. Mother I love you (punch) Mother I do (punch) Father in Heaven has sent me to you…. Mother I Love You, I love you I do (punch) Most memorable mothers day ever!
I grew up with a lot of exposure to swearing. I didnt often swear but under heavy stress sometimes I would let one fly. As a 113 year old farm kid I always had a pocket knife on me. Inc while passing the sacrament and trying to be quiet and not drop the tray. I hit my leg on a pew. my knife was in that pocket. It made a terrible embarrassing noise. Followed by my almost simultaneous expelling d#@*it! To this day I dont know if anyone heard me swear. Probably the most embarrassed I’ve ever been.
113 years old?! I want to know your secret! 😉
I can’t believe I’m sharing this… When my daughter was about 2 we were walking down the hall during class. I could tell she was pooping so I quickly took her into the mother’s room. To my surprise her diaper’s side was riding up her middle and there was NO poop in her diaper. Then it hit me.. I quickly changed her and went in search of it, only to find a small group of moms huddled together trying to determine what the brown lump on the floor was!
My sister and I were sitting on opposite sides of our family. Our parents and three brothers all fell asleep and our dad began to snore LOUDLY! Everyone around us were giggling. I looked down at my sister and counted to three and we shoved then together causing them to knock heads! Then the congregation really started laughing. Bishop had a hard time stopping from smiling and teased often since that day.
One day in fast and testimony meeting, a lady got up to bear her testimony. It was very heartfelt… untill she started gushing about her new puppies. She lost her train of thought and declared “Does anyone one of you want to buy one of my puppies? If you do please come talk to me after church.”
One December day when I was in Sunday school, I was asking to say the closing prayer. Instead of starting by saying “Our Heavenly Father” I said “Merry Christmas!”
Even I laughed.
Also, I can’t even count how many times I accidentally starting reciting the pledge of allegiance instead of the YW theme…
Have you ever started the pledge of allegiance with dear heavenly father
Once when i was in seminary, we were having a large group testimony meeting. Most of the teenagers were standing up and sharing their most heartfelt testimony. One of the teenagers, a teenager with disabilities, went up to share his “testimony.” He stands up and proudly states the entire “Day of
Infamy Speech” given by President Roosevelt after the attack on Pearl Harbor. At the end of the speech, he loudly shouted “I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of WAR!!” The boy then promptly returned to his seat, looking very pleased with himself, while the rest of us tried to stifle our laughter. We all wanted to give him a round of applause….
My little brother, “Rooster” has always been a curious little bugger and the biggest handful for my mother. As any Mormon with a family knows, sometimes it’s hard to round up the whole family to leave after church. We couldn’t find Rooster anywhere. Until someone came rushing over to Mom to tell her that he was on the ROOF of the church. We ran outside and sure enough, he was up there on the spire! When he saw us he shouted jubilantly, “MOM! THESE are NOT real windows! They’re just STICKERS!”
When our oldest was about 2 (now 16), we gave her minty gum during sacrament meeting. Biggest mistake ever – but – we were first time parents, so what did we know?! She had stuck the wad up her nose while we thought she was just looking at books on the floor and instead she was pulling STRINGS of gum out of her nose. It was all over her face and her dress. We were dying laughing. As my husband hauled her out for clean up she was crying and yelling “It burns! It burns!”
Here’s another one: Once my little sister leaned over to my mom in sacrament meeting when she was about 4 and sighed heavily and said “Moooooommmm!! I’m sooooo hungry! When are we going to have the “snackerment”?
Okay – one more: When I was 8 months pregnant with my 5th baby, I had seriously lost my brain by then. We had 9:00 church and it was impossible for us to be on time. One day we hustled into church 10 minutes late (picture husband walking hurriedly, shushing 4 kids in tow, and pregnant waddling wife in heels hauling the giant diaper bag bringing up the rear). The bishop shot me a look and a raised eye-brow, to which I shot a look back and said in my mind “What?! We’re ALWAYS late! This is nothing new!” The last verse of the song was being sung and we slipped into our pew on the 2nd row just as the song ended. Then the prayer was said…..THE CLOSING PRAYER THAT IS!! Apparently we had forgot to “spring forward” our clocks for daylights savings time, and it was actually 10:10, not 9:10. During the prayer we stifled our giggles, ducking behind the pew, and when “Amen” was said, the whole congregations burst into laughter! We had totally made a scene shuffling in just in time to sit down for the closing prayer. It was hilarious!
Bwahahaha! Your last one was the best. Thanks. As a mom of six, who is perpetually late, I really appreciate this one.
Love the last one! Its hard to be on time when you have small kids.
when I was about 5 we were traveling back from our cabin and missed our ward, we did make it for the next ward but got there a little late but sat in back. not sure what I ate but between the metal chair and the built up pressure everyone in the building turned around to see who had caused such a load noise. not thinking a little 5 year old could produce such a sound that echoed in the building my dad got blamed for it.
my sister was struggling with her 2 kids in church and they did not want to be quiet during sacrament meeting. after a few times of telling them to be quiet she got frustrated during the sacrament and told the 4 year old boy to shut up. he turns around and yells “I will not shut up”…..the whole ward knew what she had just said to him.
my brother back in the 80’s went up to bear his testimony. It took him a long time before he felt comfortable to say his testimony again after saying he knows President Reagan is a true prophet
When I was at my friends mission farewell I sat in the front row with all of my other friends who came to support her. When the water got passed to me, after I put the cup in the tray, I somehow managed to knock the tray and spill half of it. I was so embarrassed. I was mortified since a lot of my friends were there.
One sacrament meeting they was a young kid a few rows in front of us who was playing with a toy on the edge of the pew. When he accidentally dropped it he very loudly exclaimed, “uh oh!” The kids seemed to like the sound and started to repeat it, “uh oh!, uh oh!, uh oh!” At which point small kids nearby decided to try it out. Within seconds almost all the little kids in the congregation joined in, “Uh oh!, uh oh!” The bishop was trying his best to hold in his laughter and I remember seeing one mom try to hold he hands over her two kids mouths, but they would slip away just enough to echo another “Uh oh!”
So Sacrament meeting was particularly long one Sunday and even the adults were gettig restless. The Bishop stands after the last speaker to announce the closing hymn and who will say the closing prayer. A little boy asks his mom loud enough for all to hear if that means it’s going to be over, to which his mother while trying to shush him whispers yes. The boy then states in a very loud and exasperated voice, “Thank God!” The mom looked horrified.
Every week in sacrament meeting our three year old daughter will ask after every prayer and hymn, “Are we done yet???” I say no and then she pouts with an “oh…” When the meeting finally closes with the last prayer and I answer that we’re all done she stands and shouts, “Yay! Yay! All done!!!” Every week. But she’s so cheerful about it we just smile.
When i was around 6-7 years old our ward was doing a primary program, I guess i had enough of it… So i got halfway through my part stopped and said “blah blah blah the end” and sat back down. Everyone was laughing!! I was a pretty clever girl!!!
My brother got in trouble for singing in primary at the top of his lungs “I am a child of DOG!”
Once during the passing of the sacrament amid complete and total silence my three year old sister decided, i a loud voice, to finally confess her love for a teenager in the ward that she had been admiring for some time. He was seated at the front of the chapel and we were near the back and as she repeatedly chanted “I love Ammon, I love Ammon I love Ammon” He turned bright red but did not look back to see who his admirer was. The funny thing was that the chanting went on way longer than normal because my parents were at first too shocked and embarrassed to take any action and then not certain what to do about it.
I was once the ward music director for sacrament meeting. On a day when I had been assigned to give a talk, another sister offered to lead the music for me so that sacrament meeting would not appear to be a one man show. I accepted gratefully, but am a very forgetful person. As I stood up to lead the music that day I noticed people were especially jolly in the congregation. Many were laughing or hiding their heads as we sang the song others were just smiling at me; or someone beside me? I looked a little to the left and in front and behold, the other girl, also leading the music.
When I was a priest my best friend got asked to saying the closing prayer in quorum meeting. We all bowed our heads and closed or eyes and he said “hello” all 6 of us immediately bust up laughing.
Once during a sacrament meeting in which I was up in front leading the music, my slip fell down around my ankles. Upon the ending of the song I was not sure what would be worse, to waddle back to my seat with my slip around my ankles and then to proceed to lift my slip slowly up my legs to it’s proper place in front of the whole ward for their enjoyment, or to lift it up immediately as I stood there and then be able to walk back to my seat. There were four males behind me giving talks that day and the bishopric was just to the left of me seated behind. There may have been a more efficient way to do it like take my slip off completely and carry it back with me, but I opted for the second option. As the song ended, I gracefully bent down, pulled my slip up and went back to my seat. Poor Maia.
Mine isn’t from sacrament but it was pretty embarrassing : Today was my last day in primary before we moved so I figured why not do something fun? I
whipped up a game that involved tricks or treats. If they rolled a
treat they got to wrap me up like a mummy, sing a song in a fun way, or
play Sister Tobler says. If they rolled a trick they had to answer a
Halloween riddle. Everything was going along just as planned, the kids
were singing and they were having fun.
It was then a little girl’s (age 4)
turn to roll the die. She got up excited as could be and rolled a
trick. I then read her this riddle: “What do you call a witch who lives
at the beach?” She thought about it for about a second and then shouted
out full volume “A B(word)!!” All of the other children laughed most of
them not knowing what that was and started shouting “the word”. I was
so shocked I just stood there with my mouth open while all of the other
teachers looked at me stunned. I mean what are you supposed to do when
children swear in church? I quickly explained to them that, we are not
supposed to use that word and told them the correct answer was a “Sand
witch.” I looked at my pianist and told her to just play a song so we
could sing and move on. I was mortified, yet I was laughing so hard I
cried. It was a fine finale as primary chorister.
There was this kid in the singles ward who was giving a very heartfelt testimony, “guys, I just want you to know that I am so grateful for Jesus’ erection.” We all looked around after he said that, not wanting to admit we heard what we heard and everyone was stifling a laugh.
We had Stake Conference recently (i.e. there were a lot of people there), and in order to try and keep my 3 year old son quiet I was trying my best at entertaining him. I would pretend to grab his nose, ears, and other body parts and pretend to throw them down the aisle (we were in the overflow so there was plenty of room) and say “where’d your nose go?” After which he would walk in the direction i threw his nose and put it back on. This process continued for about 5 minutes until he walked over to my wife, put his hand on her chest and made a throwing action after which is said, “Mommy, where’d your boobie go?” We were laughing way to hard to be embarrassed
We had an older gentlemen join the church and it was hit first time blessing the sacrament, so the bishop was the person preparing it with him. The man kept reading the prayer wrong – several times – and finally the bishop tried to help him out by correcting a mistake he made, and the man goes, “I know!” and then muttered under his breath (into the mic of course) “Son of a bitch…” Nobody else thought it was funny but my dad and I, who both have an irreverent sense of humor..
I had three boys who were six, five, and four go up and sing with the primary for mothers day. I thought it was so cute to see my cute little boys up on the stand. My husband was instantly worried when he saw our four and five year old standing by each other. As the song started my four year old decides to start punching my five year old in the side. So of course my five year old puts the four year old in a head lock. Of course they were on the front row. The punching and head lock lasted through the whole song. The whole congregation was laughing. I was crying… definitely a happy mothers day to me.
During a prayer in a Sacrament Meeting, a small child hollared, “Mommy, wake up!” i think everyone in the congregation opened their eyes to see who had said it.
We were visiting my aunt and uncles ward and my 2 year old son decided to sing the “Imperial March” from Star Wars at the top of his lungs while the sacrament was being passed. While we were trying to quiet him, the looks on the faces of the people behind us were priceless as they really wanted to laugh but were trying really hard not to.
I was the Sacrament Meeting chorister. It was time for the sacrament hymn, and one of the counselors in the Bishopric conducting the meeting announced that the hymn was going to be, “Gently Raise the Sacred Straw.” He sat down without realizing he had said anything wrong. As I stood up to lead the hymn, I had the giggles, visualizing in my head someone reverently raising a straw over their heads. What made it worse was that the bishop was giggling too! We kept setting each other off-just as I would get myself under control, I would see him laughing again. And vice versa. I think it wasn’t until the 3rd verse had started that I could sing with any reverence.
As the young men were passing the sacrament my daughter, who we as about 3 or 4 at the time, stood up on the bench and said in a loud voice “MOM I JUST POOTED!” . I couldn’t help but laugh!
Once our choir director was leading the choir in a musical number during sacrament meeting and her slip fell off! She quietly just stepped out of it and continued conducting!
We also once had a young man go up to the pulpit on fast Sunday and say “I know that Abraham Lincoln is s true prophet..”
My dad was visiting a ward in Spanish Fork, Utah and in primary they were talking about Christ and how the men crucified him. A little boy yells out, “dem sons of b****es!”
I heard about this one from my grandparents. During a testimony meeting a man started to get emotional as he shared his testimony and at the end he apologized to the congregation by saying, “I’m sorry for being such a big boob!”
The bishop then got up to close the meeting by saying, “It’s OK Bro. _____ we love big boobs!”
Little girl (while sacrament is being passed): Daddy I gotta go potty
Daddy: shhhh ok in a minute
Girl: (louder) I gotta go
Daddy: in a minute
Girl: Daddy I really gotta go! (Even louder)
Daddy: After the sacrament
Girl: (after a couple of minutes): Daddy I don’t gotta go anymore!
Daddy and girl not seen the rest of the day!
Fire alarm. My 3 year old boy pulled the fire alarm during sacrament meeting and they couldn’t get it shut off. The alarm was so loud the whole congregation had to go outside until they could get it silenced. Good thing was a beautiful summer day…
One time around Christmas time my Dad’s phone went off in the middle of the choir singing Silent night…and his ring tone was “The devil went down to Georgia” so instead of the reverent hymn it went “silent night holy night all is calm THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA HE WAS LOOKING FOR A SOUL TO STEAL” everyone in the congregation was trying their best to stifle thier laughter.but luckily the choir went on singing and no one up on the stand heard it.
I’ve got two for you:
1) My friend got up to bear her testimony during fast and testimony meeting. There was someone already bearing their testimony, so she sat down in one of the seats on the stand. When the other person was done, she stood up, took a step and disappeared. She had fallen to the floor. The bishop and his counselors got up to help her when she just popped up again! She then proceeded to tell the ward that sometimes Satan just drags you down…literally! It was a great recovery!
2) Another friend of mine has a phobia of birds. I’m not just talking about how they scare her, but she is absolutely petrified. This week she was asked to speak in Sacrament meeting. She was up giving her talk when a bird flew into the chapel (we had opened the doors to the outside because we didn’t have air conditioning and it was hot). She shrieked and went into the fetal position on the floor crying. They ended up having to call the next speaker up and we continued the meeting with a pigeon flying overhead. I think most of us were just waiting for someone to get pooped on! The woman who has a phobia of birds went home early that day!
During Sacrament our 3 year old looked behind us and saw a cute baby dressed up in a Santa outfit. He proceeded to sing VERY loudly, “Santa Baby” knew the words and all
When I was three my mom was pregnant with my sister and I had asked her how the baby would get out. She told me that the baby would come out her vagina. That next Sunday I apparently thought that during the silence of sacrament was a good time to announce this to everyone.
We were sitting in Sacrament meeting waiting for the bread to be passed to our row. My four year old daughter Lana was fidgeting and making noises. I leaned to her and whispered: “What’s the matter.” “I’m hungry,” she whined. “Think about Jesus during the Sacrament,” I whispered back. Loudly she replied: “Why! He won’t give me anything to eat.”
My husband tells the story of back in the old days when we had separate meeting times and Sunday School was held in the morning. During the Sunday School opening exercises somebody would be asked to give the Sacrament Gem, which was usually a short spiritual thought. One day someone got up and said “Talk softly and carry a big stick”, what a gem.
Our stake house was being re-dedicated after being renovated. We got our kids to fold their arms and be reverent for the dedicatory prayer. At some point during the long prayer our 2 year old decided it was time for the prayer to be over and repeated, “Say, Jesus Christ AMEN! Say, Jesus Christ AMEN!”
One or two sacrement meetings after girls camp I was sitting kind of in the back because our ward was so big. Our bishop had two people up there to speak. He then stood up and anounced the speakers. There was one person then me! I was so confused because I had never gotten asked. Being 13 I started to freak out. I wrote a few things on a peice of paper and got up to go give my talk. I later found out that they had switched my name with someone else’s name.
At sixteen, I taught my two year old nephew to holler at girls, “hey baby!” Well, the next fast and testimony meeting he saw his nursery teacher get up to bare her testimony. He stood up on the bench and began to yell, “hey baby!” at her at the top of his lungs. My sister hit her husband for it.
Sounds like something my sister would do lol!
When my daughter was about 3 she sneezed in the middle of the Sacrament, and a huge glob of mucus landed on my husband. She said “oops!” loudly while my husband, very red faced, dug out his handkerchief to wipe it up. Did I mention we always sat in the front row so my children could see? The Bishopric also turned red from supressed laughter!
This literally happened yesterday. My sister visited from out of state and was holding our new baby niece. They looked so precious. During sacrament, I subtly pulled out my phone to take a picture and the flash went off. I was mortified.
during a prayer one of my children let off this loud juicy poop. So loud the person saying prayer paused for a moment then kept going. So embrassed.
I once heard of someone that during a prayer in sacrament farted so loud on one of those hard metal chairs in the cultural hall that the person praying actually paused for a moment. LOL
When my daughter was 6 she was very curious about how babies were made. I had just let her watch a few minutes of the Nova special about how the sperm finds the egg and then once one sperm goes into the egg the baby starts to grow. She was so excited about this new knowledge. The next day we were sitting in sacrament meeting and my daughter was sitting on Grandma’s lap. It is silent as the sacrament is being passed. I look over at my Mother-in-law and notice that her shoulders are bouncing and I realize she is trying desperately not to laugh along with the entire bench behind us. She shows me the picture my daughter has just drawn for her: a big circle with little sperms around it and she keeps repeating to Grandma how it works. “there’s a sperm and an egg” “the sperm swims really fast” “there’s lots of sperm” “the sperm gets to the egg and then the sperm goes in the egg” Grandma was trying to keep her quiet but she was just so excited about telling her she had to get the whole story out.
We might just have to dedicate an entire website to all of these incredibly funny stories. 🙂 Keep them coming.
My little brother was about 11 years old and got up to bear his testimony, saying “I know that George W. B. Hinckley is a true prophet”. I still laugh when I think about it!
When my brother was little there was a mother and daughter duet during sacrament. They were not the most talented singers. So my little brother while covering his ears screams “MAKE THEM STOP THEY ARE HURTING MY EARS!!!”
When my son was 4, he got up during the Primary Program ready to give his part. Unfortunately, the leader helping kids with their part, got mixed up and started giving him someone else’s part. So, my son went with it and decided to repeat what she was saying, but he didn’t know exactly what she was saying. So, when she said, “Jesus is the only one who can save us from sin and,” my son repeated it a bit differently and said, “Jesus is the only one that Can save us from Santa?” It was hilarious and even better when the bishop got up and clarified that Santa was not evil:)
Our ward has a lot of travelers and transients passing through. Once while my husband was bishop we had this particular transient from the community attend a fast & testimony meeting. Sure enough she saw others stand up and bear their testimony, so she felt she needed to do the same. However, she spoke of everything but…. and she went on forever. I could tell by the look on the bishop’s face he was trying to figure out a way to politely tell her it was time to sit down, when all of a sudden the power went off in the chapel, everything went dark and the microphone went dead! When the power came on a few seconds later, she quickly said, “well I must be done” and sat back down! — Later, when we were discussing the incident, the bishop said he thought the first counselor was pretty talented at switching the lights and mic off at the same time, only to realize that the first counselor sitting at the controls had thought about it but hadn’t done it!
My family was lucky to be living in the same ward as my parents and my teenaged-younger brother. Being so close to my family gave my two-year-old to get well acquainted with my brother and he was crazy about his uncle. One day while my brother was sitting at the sacrament table we hear my son shout out “HI, MIAH!” My brother went red and dropped his face in his hands to which my son loudly replied “PEEK-A-BOO!”
This same two year old was obsessed with super heroes and especially Iron Man. We thought it would be funny to teach him the song by Ozzy Ozbourn. It was really funny when the entire congregation heard “I AM IRON MAN! NANANANANANA NA NA NA!” While the sacrament was being passed. Nothing like a little metal to bring the spirit!
A friend was playing a game on his phone before Sacrament Meeting and thought he had turned off the sound when the meeting started (I think it was a Simpsons game). After someone’s name was called to be sustained for a calling, his phone said, “Better you than me.”
On the subject of sustaining, when I was a teenager someone’s name was called and I must not have been paying attention (or gotten enough sleep) because instead of putting my hand up, I started to clap. Of course I was mortified within seconds when I realized what I’d done. The brother in front of us turned around and said, “It’s okay, sometimes I want to do that too.”
I had to go early to Church with my 9 and 7 yo’s in tow. My husband was to follow in car #2 after getting the toddler ready. She was then around two, but the SIZE of a four yo. We had great seats about half way up to the front of the chapel. Well after the meeting had started, my 6 foot 4 in. husband came parading up the aisle to join us, the 2yo sitting on the top of his shoulders with her wide sash ribbons hanging down, swaying about, puffy dress tucked up funny, diaper showing, etc. Her long curly hair was matted and knotted. She had peanut butter tracks on both cheeks, the u-shaped crust of what was left of the sandwich still in hand and being nibbled on. In her other hand was her “toy of choice” for Sacrament meeting: a four foot, hot pink, mostly inflated FLAMINGO (from a recent zoo trip), its long neck and 20 in. long legs flopping wildly about with each stride he took. I was absolutely and thoroughly mortified! They were, however completely silent. Do you think anyone noticed? 🙂
His was a true testimony of the difficulty in getting a 2-yr-old decent and clean for ANY occasion! That is the way all 2-yr-olds would look all the time if not for the superhuman efforts of their mothers. Sometimes even changing a diaper at any age is a 2-3 person job.
I am so glad I am now the Nanna. 🙂
So true. How did we ever survive those years! 😀 I have to tell one more story: One week I headed around a corner (from R.S. where I was needed as an interpreter) to pick-up the walking-but-not-yet-talking toddler son who had attended E. Quorum with daddy. The tyke came around the corner first, barefoot and wearing only a cloth diaper with two large pins. (no rubber pants) Daddy had been instructing the Elders Quorum when a brother pointed out that the kid needed a change. So, continuing with the lesson, he places kiddo on the table and whipped the diaper out from under him…without first assessing. Daddy reported that somehow poop got all over the rubber pants (no spare today for some reason), the cuffed shorts, shirt, suspenders, shoes and socks. By the time they had him cleaned up, the entire group was involved. Apparently it took the armies of Helaman to do the task, and all amused by it. I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall to witness this spectacle, heh heh.
With our fourth child, my wife was placed on bed rest at 30 weeks. Then after he was born, she had to have her gall bladder out. So, she hadn’t been to church in quite a while. On her first Sunday back, she was sitting, holding our new son, when he had volcanic spit-up. Needles to say, she was pretty well covered and the bench didn’t fair to well either. Our home teacher who was sitting in front of us took the baby from her as she was sitting in shock. All of a sudden, our baby started to spit up again, and our home teacher quickly turned him to face his wife. Two women, two benches – pretty good coverage.
I had a non-member girlfriend come to sacrament for the first time, she was holding my two year old nephew while the sacrament was being passed. In the dead silence of sacrament he yells at the top of his voice, “I just want to see your boobs.” She turned bright red and I couldn’t help but laugh.
I teach the sunbeams with my wife one day one of the kids that really likes me says to me I love you best brother Brent then I said what about teacher Jo (my wife) took him less than half a second to say no
When my son was 1 or 2, I decided to attend a singles ward. During the closing prayer for Sunday School, he grabbed a stuffed cow that I hadn’t realized was in the bag. He squeezed it and it said, “Moooo. I’m a cow!” He was so proud and the single adults had no idea what to do. I never went back to that ward. It was much easier to be in the family ward. 🙂
I am pregnant, and was visiting my sister’s ward for her baby blessing. I wasn’t feeling great that morning, and shortly after the baby blessing was over I threw up all over my niece, who was on my lap, my husband next to me and myself. Not to mention it got all over the floor and wall. Yikes.
My dad was a narcoleptic during every sacrament meeting. One particular sacrament meeting during a lengthy talk, a bee decided to join the congregation, and landed on my dad’s nose. Several congregation members noticed and wondered what would matriculate from this pest vs sleeping man situation. My dad opened his eyes, winced, and as the bee started to fly away, he clapped his hands so loudly that it startled several people including the speaker. Though it was a small startling moment, all us teenagers couldn’t help but duck beneath the pews and laugh hysterically. He didn’t get the bee.
I was in sunday school in my singles ward and had my scriptures on my iphone, somehow i push the button the activate siri and didn’t notice. the teacher asked a question to the class and my phone answered. “i don’t know let my look that up…..
When my husband was young, he and his brother were fighting during sacrament meeting. In an attempt to break it up and restore some reverence his mother abruptly dragged him out to the foyer. His older brother watched as he was taken away and as soon as the door closed exclaimed, “BOY I’m glad that’s not me going out there with Mom!
A friend of ours was sitting in Sacrament meeting it was dead quiet and all of a sudden his cell phone goes off playing Highway to hell by AC/DC funniest thing ever I swear he jump 100ft in the air desperately grabbing for his phone
My 15month old got his head stuck in the bottom rungs of a folding chair in the middle of the passing of the Sacrament. He started screaming. It took 3 people to help get his head free. We were seated right in the middle of the chapel.
My husband and I live in my home ward and usually sit with my parents and younger siblings. All 3 of my younger brothers started getting debilitating migraines at least once every other week when they started puberty until the older two were about 17, most of the time resulting in them spending the day vomiting. Well during the Sacrament Hymn a couple months ago, my youngest brother who just turned 13 stood up from where he was sitting with the other young men and made a beeline for the bathroom…unfortunately he didn’t make it. The entire congregation during the first sacramental prayer could hear him puking just outside the chapel doors. My family sits on the side pews at the very front and we could smell it all the way up there. My Dad of course went to check on him only to return just after the intermediate hymn jacket-less at which point my 5 y/o sister announces loudly that she needs to pee. As I escort her out we notice that one of the brethren had commandeered a young man to sit in front of the door to make sure that nobody traveled through the one side. Looking at the carpet where my brother puked I realized that he covered about 5 feet worth of space and the smell was almost unbearable despite the cleaners my dad and a few others used. As we’re in the bathroom we could hear my brother on the other side of the wall puking again. I then asked a brother from another ward who was passing by if he could check on my brother for me only to have him exit the bathroom pale and exhaling slowly. Apparently my brother puked all over the floor and walls of the stall. As we head back to the pew to rejoin the family, my sister breaks into a run and announces halfway down the aisle, “Dad, Scott threw up again only this time all over the bathroom!” Needless to say it took quite a bit of convincing to get my brother to church the next Sunday.
I was primary chorister and it was Mother’s Day. I got up and motioned the children to come up to sing. My daughter, who was 4 at the time, thought the meeting was over and headed straight for Primary without me noticing. Next thing I knew, right as the piano started to play, I hear her running up from the back of the chapel yelling, “MAMA!!! You forgotted me!!!!”
The elementary school had just had a bout with head lice and had checked most of the classes. During sacrament our friend took her crying baby out in the hallway. Since her husband was deployed the 12 year old daughter was left to watch the two younger kids. We glanced over and the kids were enthusiastically checking each other’s heads for lice.The members had a good laugh but their Mom was mortified!
My son,Thomas, who was 4 at the time, was asked to say prayer in primary. The teacher helped him and said ” We thank thee for Thomas S. Monson.” only he said, “We thank thee that Thomas is awesome.”
when my oldest was in the early stages of potty training he stated he needed to use the bathroom. We started down the aisle of the chapel and he started pulling his pants down. after that we had a new rule. you didn’t take your pants down until you could see the potty.
My sister’s daughter stood up and yelled, “AMEN!” When it was the super long prayer givers turn in sacrament.
Like any mom I kiss my sons booboos.. well one day during sacrament he had fallen and yelled Mom kiss my butt…I quietly told him I would not and he kept yelling it over and over again…I was so embarrassed but trying not to laugh
My Father is a very humble, sincere man who hates to have attention focused on him. One Sunday he was asked to say the closing prayer in Sacrament meeting. It had been a very spiritual meeting and he wanted to express his thanks and how full his heart was, but being nervous he jumbled his words and instead of saying “our hearts are full” he ended up saying” our farts are whole”. He will never live that one down.
When I was serving as the Elder’s Quorum President, our ward had a boundary re-organization sacrament meeting. My family was sitting in the pew where there was a thermostat on the wall. While the Stake president was speaking, our Bishop, who was very new at the job, sent me a text message from his seat on the stand: “Could you turn up the heat?” With some prompting from my wife, and without touching the thermostat, I replied back, “I want to serve in Primary.” While he was reading my reply, I have him a deadpan stare. He wrote back: “Is this from you, or from your wife?” I turned up the heat. That was several years ago. Today I serve in Primary.
My daughter who was about 4 at the time, was drawing a picture. It was a stick figure person with a dress on and there were a bunch of lines on the legs. I asked her who the picture was of and she said it was me. I asked her what were the lines on my legs. She very loudly said “Those are the hairs on your legs mommy!” I looked down the pew and the lady sitting down there was stifling her laughter and looking at me, as I was stifling my own.
One Sunda we were sitting quietly during the sacrament and my son very noisily filled his diaper. To which my 2 year old daughter loudly announced “Tayt just pooped his pants! ” I was embarrassed, but still couldn’t stop laughing. The people three or four rows ahead of us were having a hard time keeping it together too.
My son was playing down on the ground. He was about a year old. I reached down to pick him up because he was fussing. He grabbed onto the hymn holder thing and ripped it right off! I was so embarrassed! The bishop said it had come off before which made me feela little better.
My youngest son was siting on his mothers lap and let one rip, then he yelled over and over , you farted , you farted!
I was given the assignment to give closing prayer on Easter. While I was thinking Jesus Christ near the end of the prayer I apparently said “this Christmas” instead of Easter. I didn’t know I’d said it and several people told me I did. So the next year when the bishop asked me again to give the closing prayer on Easter Sunday I told him I’d try to remember which day it really was.
Our ward had a canning assignment one Saturday night at the cannery. The next day in sacrament meeting the bishop gets up to thank those who helped with it. He meant to say that we had great success at the cannery, but what came out was “We had great SEX last night at the cannery! Thanks to all those who came!”
The primary in my step-sister’s ward made these for Mother’s Day this year. She got to wear it while conducting the music in sacrament meeting. 🙂
This is too funny!
I’ll remember to veto that one!
Hahaha – that’s too funny!
Not quite appropriate for Sacrament……..you’ll upset the nervous disposition of several!!
In my sisters ward, a lady was giving a talk, during her talk she started crying. She apologized by saying “I’m sorry I’m such a big boob”. When she was done the counselor got up to close the meeting, and he said “sister XXXXXXXXX, it’s ok the bishop likes big boobs”.
One of my best friends told how he went back to his old home ward for a visit. A little girl about 5 or 6 yrs. old got up during testimony meeting and said “everything’s been better at our home since we quit using the “S” word and the “F” word. Her embarrassed father, the Stake President, immediately got up and said “Um, folks the ‘S’ word is shut-up and the ‘F’ word is fart.”
When my brother was about 4, he was in the primary program, and when no one was looking, he ran up to the pulpit and took control of the microphone. He then started with “My mom and dad are…” (as my parents took in a deep breath of fear) “sooo beautiful and sooo nice! Um, Amen.” and then he ran off. Everyone in the congregation was chuckling and my parents didn’t live that down for a couple of years.
Years ago my youngest brother was passing the sacrament. He made it through the whole congregation, no problems at all.He gets to the last back few rows. He goes to hand the tray away to the next row and him and the recipient notice something awful. There was a giant cockroach sitting in the tray. My brother didnt know what to do. The man who was waiting for the tray in the pew noticed it as well and wasnt sure what to do either. My brother decides to pick up the cockroach and chuck it on the ground. He then hands the tray to the man who hesitantly eats his bread and continues passing it down the aisle. Every one in the whole congregation ate from the cockroach infested bread tray! 🙂
At my home ward an elderly gentleman was asked to bless the sacrament with a young priest. He took the blessing card and started to read and within a few words he fouled it up really bad and looked at the bishop, who was doing the finger roll to start over. He messed up again and again and the bishop finger rolled every time. I could tell he was getting pretty frustrated and after about the sixth attempt the Bishop quit urging him so he tried once more only to muff it up. He stood up, shoved the card at the priest, and said “aw hell, you read the damn thing.” That wasn’t the most embarrassing part… I was the only person who laughed.
In a friend’s ward, a lady got up to bear her testimony and she didn’t speak much English. She began her testimony by saying, “I’d like to bear my testicles.” Later in the same testimony, she declared that she “Loved to make love to the bishop.” The bishop was absolutely mortified, and my friend ran out of church with her toddler since she couldn’t stop laughing.
Secondhand story–a man in our ward stood up after Sacrament Meeting to go to the next class when a condom fell out of his scriptures. He was quite mortified. Two weeks later his wife announced her pregnancy.
A friend told me about a memorable moment in a married student ward: “The speaker was talking about being bold in obedience. He said he was wary about having kids, then said: “I was humbled, and realized I should have kids. So now my wife and I are trying to have kids. So that’s what God means by ‘thrust in your sickle with all your might.'” Oh dear!!
when my cousin was little, she would jump up, raise her hands (to signal a touchdown) and yell, yah! after EVERY prayer. football anyone?
This story has been told to me by my parents. When I was 2 years old, we were living in Alabama. The ward was one of those great quirky wards with quite a few different personalities. During a testimony meeting, my family was sitting on the front row, when a very large African American lady went up and just stood there for a little bit. Then she started speaking “in tongues” by kind of wailing and flailing her arms. There were lots of high. pitched fast “OOOOoooohhh”s. This caught my toddler-aged attention, and before my parents could cover my mouth, I began copying her. Another 2 year old joined along and our parents had to grab us and hurry out of there fast while trying not to laugh.
Another story… a couple of years later, we moved to west Texas where the tap water is terrible. Awful. Our first sacrament meeting, we got the water, took our drinks, and 4-year old me shouted “This tastes like soap!!!”
When my brother was about 4 years old he decided to go to the bathroom during church. When he was finished he shouted out, “MOM, come wipe my bum!!”…The entire congregation heard it! All 6 of us ducked really low, almost rolling on the floor laughing whilst trying to pretend he wasn’t our relative!
When I was investigating the church some 8 years ago with 3 young children and not meeting in a typical LDS building… my then 4 year old son asked to use the restroom while we sung the sacrament hymn. When we finished singing I got the 2 younger children reverent, but he haden’t returned. I closed my eyes to show the girls how to be reverent. Much to my surprise I could hear giggling but when I opened my eyes to see what was happening. All the Adults in the front pews as well as the bishopric were just laughing. I stood up to see what was so funny, and there was my dear son riding a tricycle that was so small his knees were at the handle bars.
A few months ago, my three year-old was telling as I was getting ready for church “you look hot!” because he had heard my husband say it and was imitating. I laughed so hard but should have realized it was fast Sunday, and this particular 3 year-old loves to bear his testimony. His testimonies are usually very good, and I was in the Mothers’ room nursing my baby when I hear him get up and start the standard fare. He stumbled around a little bit for words, then all of the sudden says “and my momma is HOT!” Oh buddy, I am so glad I wasn’t in the room. I tried to explain afterwards that we share things that we know, but not everything we know.
We were visiting my friends ward for a baby blessing when my four year old starts singing (at a not so quiet volume) ‘bow chica wow wow, that’s what my baby says’ over and over. I could feel my face turning beet red as I put my hand over his mouth and muffle the singing.
Once in during a primary program, this cute four year old boy had the line “the scriptures teach me to pray.” But instead, his cute little voice said “the strippers teach me to pay.” Over the pulpit. We all just died trying not to laugh and make this cute kid feel bad.
My two year old was very interested in how I nursed the new baby. During sacrament one day climbed onto my lap, positioned his head in the crook of my arm, and started nudging his face against my chest. As I tried to shift him to a more appropriate snuggling position, I asked him what he was doing (big mistake). He said loudly enough for the rows around us to hear, “I’m kissing your nipple.”
In college I worked with disabled individuals. One such individuals had autism but you would think he had tourettes. He would get jealous of other peoples relationships and if he saw someone holding hands or have their arms around each other you would yell obscenities at them and everyone looking at him. One time the bishop stood up in the middle of his rant and he pointed at the bishop, “F*** you bishop, F*** You!”
2 sundays ago after the bread was passed for sacrament, my 2 year old very loudly remarked, gee mum, that was good bread
My daughter who was 4 at the time was sitting on my lap. I had vasectomy about 6 months prior. She looked at me and at a quiet time during Fast & Testimony meeting very loudly said, “Um Daddy. (Re)Member when you had owies on your vagina, I mean penis?!”
In a YSA ward at BYU-i it is very uncommon to have children. My boyfriend’s sister came to play a musical number and brought her three children. After their song she stepped out with the infant and the three year old fell asleep in my arms. All was fine until I felt a rush of warm fluid sealing through her dress and mine. I whispered to my Boyfriend, “She’s peeing?!” I waited until the flow (Which was her weight in fluid) had stopped and then promptly left the Chapel. I help her in the hall for 10-15 minutes, both of us soaking wet, before the meeting ended. My boyfriend came out with all the stuff that was beneath my seat which was also soaked fro the waterfall.
In the stall next to me there was a sunbeam singing at the top of her lungs as she went potty “let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore.” Made my week.
During the sacrament one week there were two siblings talking quite loudly to each other in front of us. Our favorite quote from them was “but mom, I didn’t call him a butt wipe, I called me a butt wipe!”
I was there for the, bishop help me! One. It was hilarious
My absolute favorite Sacrament story was about the couple next door who were speaking… after she was done, he got up and started his talk with, “I know this is kind of off the subject, but as I watching my wife up here, I couldn’t help but notice that she is SMOKIN’ HOT!”
It probably took 5 minutes before the congregation quit laughing. 🙂
When my older brother was little, my parents were struggling with night time potty training. One week, during testimony meeting, my brother grabbed the mic and proudly announced to the ward, “Mommy doesn’t wet the bed anymore.” My mother was mortified.
My dad was in the Bishopric, up on the stand and my mom was sitting with her five kids on a side pew. My baby brother, sitting on my mom’s lap vomited all over my mom. The older four of us (I was 13 at the time) immediately “hugged the wall” getting as far away from my mom and the incredible mess and smell. The older lady behind my mom handed her a 3inch x 3 inch Kleenex (bless her heart, as if that would help). My mom wrapped her dress around her and my brother, walked out of the chapel, drove the short distance home with him still on her lap, and headed straight to the shower.
I took my three year old out of sacrament meeting during a bout of bad behavior. I sat him next to me on the foyer couch. He sat reverently for a moment, then jumped up on the back of the couch and pulled the fire alarm. The glass case had been broken off and never replaced. All of sacrament meeting was interrupted while everyone evacuated. I was mortified. By the next week the glass covering was replaced.
My son was really nervous to have his interview with the Bishop before his Baptism (age 8). When our Bishop asked him “who is our prophet today” my little guy shyly said “Thomas” to which the Bishop replied “yes…go on…”. At this point nerve took over and my son continues “……..the Train??”. I was beet red when I was told!
I had recently begun dating a young man in my BYU ward. As the Sacrament was passed, all I could think about was how to handle the tray without accidentally touching his hand. I must have overloaded my brain trying to play it cool, because somehow, the entire tray of water tumbled down the neck of the guy in front of us (stadim-style auditorium seating). I felt awfully embarrassed, but luckily my new beau could see past my clumsiness, and married me, anyway. To this day, 11-plus years later, he tries to make sure I don’t handle the water tray by myself. 🙂
My autistic brother got up to bear his testimony. He’s pretty high functioning, and likes to tell the congregation what he learned the past month. He ends with: “… and we don’t hit, and we be nice to our sisters, and we don’t swear… My dad swears. Amen” Best.Talk.Ever!! lol
I have a cousin who, when she was very young, once decided to protest taking the sacrament. She assumed that her parents would make a fuss, insisting that she take it. But when it was offered to her and she refused, her father immediately passed the tray on to the next person on the row. Jenny, incensed that her little ploy had gone awry, cried out, “I want bread. I NEED bread. I LIKE BREAD!”
My three year old son asked me what was going on, and I replied that they were about to bless a baby. His eyes got big and, as loud as he could, he asked with horror, “TO EAT IT?!”
Once I was at an Institute dance, and as they were giving the closing prayer, my phone went off. It was my mom, who had a personalized ringtone which was a recording of her voice, “This is your mother. Pick up the phone!”
My teenage daughter was asked to speak for Mother’s Day. During her talk, she said she’d asked her siblings for a funny story about Mom. Then she repeated what her brother had said, “I heard Mom fart once & I thought it was funny.”
Another time, my 2-year-old son noticed that my skirt had bloused up a bit in my lap. The sacrament was being passed & the Bishop’s wife sat behind us. My son, quite loudly, asked me “is that your penis?”
Same son–now about age 16 or 17. He was asked to be the youth speaker while a former member of the Stake Presidency & his wife spoke. The former stake pres. member was speaking & my son fell asleep on the stand, with his head resting on the dear sister’s shoulder (she was also his English teacher).
When our daughter, now 24, was about 3, my husband would draw pictures, letters, and numbers on her back to keep her occupied during sacrament. She was one wiggly little girl. One Sunday, I guess she got board before daddy could start drawing and she stands up, pulls her dress over her head and yells, “Daddy do me, do me!!” Hubby and I wanted to crawl under the pew.
I think I drank out of somebody elses cup during sacrament. I’m pretty sure I did.
My mother went out of town for a few weeks to help her younger sister who had just had a baby. My Brother was about 4 at the time. One concerned sister asked, after two weeks of my mom being absent from church, where my mother was. My brother told her “She left us.” Two weeks later, when my mother returned to church the same lady gave my mother a hug and praised her for making the right choice of returning to her family that needed her so.
I heard of a Bishop likening the Church to a big Spanish galleon, the sails were missionary work, the rudder was the Spirt, and the mast was Christ. Christ–or the mast–was secured to the ship’s deck with massive bolts that stood for virtues like gratitude, charity, humility, patience, temperance, etc. The Bishop paused for a moment and then said, “I’d like to publicly thank my wife for keeping my nuts bolted to the deck.” Oh boy.
I have to share what my brother did. He was 16 (I was 18) and doing the sacrament prayer. He had always struggled with reading and being that he was there with the microphone and all ears on him, it couldn’t have been easy for him. Well, he messed up and had to start the prayer again. Then he messed up again. In the microphone, he whispered “sh*t…” I DIED and started laughing. Keep in mind, I was the obnoxious older sister. My Mom, with head still bowed, punched me in the arm.
I was living with and caring for my elderly father, who would get up almost every fast & testimony meeting. He rarely bore his testimony, usually he would tell his life story (the LONG version)…starting even before he was born when his older brother burned up the barn with grandpa’s car in it. (My neighbor once told me her favorite “part” of my Dad’s testimony was the story of Dad & Mom’s courtship…so ward members came to know his story so well, they had a favorite part. *facepalm*) I will never forget the meeting where we’d had two babies blessed…so we had a LOT of visitors. Halfway through Dad’s “testimony” he said, “Do any of you know who Johnny Depp is? My daughter just LOVES Johnny Depp. Our basement has been made into a Johnny Depp shrine.” Visitors were craning their necks trying to figure out just WHO was the celebrity stalker, and there were various mutterings and titterings running through the congregaton. In abject humiliation and complete mortification, I fled the chapel even before the “Amen” from the closing prayer had died away. For some time I seriously considered becoming a Buddhist…
I was speaking. My husband is Bishop, also had a member of the Stake Presidency attending and a male chorister. About 2 minutes into the talk I felt the back of my skirt fall down to where it should fall. For the first two minutes my skirt had been stuck on my rump I had been mooning (with my underwear on, of course) all the men in back of me. I don’t know if I was more embarrassed or ticked that my husband hadn’t fixed it earlier!
My 4 year old was out of control during sacrament meeting so I told him that if he didn’t shape up, I would take him to the car and spank him. He got worse, so I started hauling him out. He kept screaming the whole way out “Don’t paddle my butt!” It was made worse by his two year old sister who stood up on the bench to watch and then loudly announced “He said butt! Jay, you can’t say butt. That’s a potty word.” Everyone, including husband, thought this scene was hilarious. I probably would too, except it happened 2 weeks ago…
I remember this lady who was a little rough around the edges, but a sweetheart got up to bear her testimony. She said it’s hard for her to bring her teenager to church because he always says “it sucks”. Of course, people aren’t used to “it sucks” being part of a testimony. I was listening to her talk about her issues with her teen, and she said, “I tell him he should come with me, even if he thinks it sucks….” I looked around and you can see the more holier-than-thou families looking shocked at her choice of words. I was enjoying watching them squirm, to tell you the truth. Then the friend behind us, who is no stranger to hardships and has no problem with the word “sucks”, leans forward to us and says, ‘that’s the second time she said ‘sucks…’..” knowing we were going to laugh. I told him to be quiet (mostly because he was making us laugh). Then the lady said ‘sucks’ again from the pulpit. So our friend leaned forward and said, ‘See? that’s three sucks….” I tried so hard to contain myself. Then she finished her testimony and our friend leaned forward to us again and said, “That really sucked.”
In my cousin’s ward, a man got up and said that, with heavy heart, he needed to confess something: “I had an affair… with THAT WOMAN… right there!” The whole audience gasps and turns to look at who he is pointing to – the relief society president, sitting with her husband and children. She starts frantically waving her arms, yelling “IT’S NOT TRUE! IT’S NOT TRUE!” Everyone looks back to the man at the microphone who says “….in my HEART.”
Oh my gosh, that’s not embarrassing, that’s just awful!
The little red-head girl in my home ward was always the loudest during Primary musical numbers. One Sunday, they were up there singing Follow the Prophet. Specifically, the line was, “the Lord commanded Nephi to go and build a boat.” Unfortunately, the child started “…to build a ship,” and realized halfway through her mistake, so she ended up singing, “The Lord commanded Nephi to go and build a sh**” Practically the entire congregation burst out laughing.
I’m the youngest of 10, came after 6 boys in row. When I was about 2 or 3, we were on our way to church when my 3 brothers right above me were teaching me how to spit. During sacrament, my dad was holding me a little bit above his head when I spit all over his face! My dad was so mad at my brothers.
My dad love to wear fun ties to church each week: disney, looney toons, grinch, sant, etc. My family got him a singing one around Christmas one of the years he was in the bishopric. He was so proud to wear his new tie. It was time for the Sacrament and the prayer had just finished when we hear the carol that my dad’s tie played. Everyone was looking around for the music source. My family was trying to be reverent while busting up. Apparently my dad had pulled his scriptures back and bumped his tie. The soundbox promptly came out and the bishop made sure that dad’s future ties didn’t sing.
When my father was ward chorister, he conducted the congregational hymns with a baton. After holding out a note at the end of a verse, he completed a swish & flick motion to end the note. The singing stopped, but the baton did not. It flew out of his grip and rattled down the steps of the rostrum. A family friend was in the front row and laughed throughout the rest of the meeting.
So, my mom has a thing with pinching mine and my brothers butts. She’s pretty good about just doing it at home, but one Sunday she felt the need to pinch my brother’s butt. She went in for the kill and one of my brother’s friends jumped and turned around-bright red in the face. “Sister Graham?!” To which my mom apologetically said, “I’m sorry! I thought you were Kevin!”
When we first joined the church, my children did not quite understand what fasting was. To them it was still a term of speed. So our first few months of fast and testimony meeting, they would grade everyone’s testimony. Such as, “wow! That was super fast!” Or, “mmmm, they did okay. Maybe a little faster next time.” And of course, “mom, that was not fast at all. They need to learn it’s called fast and testimony meeting, not long and boring testimony meeting.” So so red!! And one time during sacrament, my youngest was having a hard time staying reverent. I gave her her little picture of Jesus and whispered, it’s almost time when you can color. Just think about Jesus till then. Not even 2 minutes later she’s fidgeting again, so I re hand her her picture and she pushes it away and says nice and loudly, mom stop! I already thought about Jesus! All I could hear was stifled laughter all around me. So mortifying.
There was a lady bearing her testimony crying and she was the last one to speak. As she was crying she says to the congregation, “I apologize for crying, I guess I am just a big boob”. Shortly after she was done the Bishop got up to close the meeting and before he did, he looked over at the sister that bore her testimony and said , “that’s okay Sister (——) we like big boobs in this ward. The whole congregation started laughing…
My husband likes to chit chat after church which is hard to wait around with 4 kids so I would often reach into his pocket to get the car keys so I wouldn’t interrupt his conversation and could get the kids in the car. One Sunday I approached him from behind and reached around and patted the front of his leg where his pocket would be to see if the keys were in that pocket. He turned around to see what I was doing and to my surprise it wasn’t my husband! Sure looked like him from behind! I was thankful I didnt reach in his pocket that time which i usually do!
It was the Sunday we were blessing out baby so my whole family was there along with my husbands entire family. After the blessings, an elderly woman got up and began her talk. She took the entire 30 or so minutes left in the meeting, giving her husband 2 minutes to do his talk. He got up and all he said was “Sometimes, she lets me talk at home.” And sat down. The following Sunday, he got up and lamented at what a horrible person he is for saying that. He did
It was my little brother’s first Sunday back to church since having hip surgery and because of that, he had to be in a wheelchair. Because we were already late for church, when we arrived there, it seemed that everyone’s mind set was to hurry up and get him in his wheel chair, get inside and sit down. When we all finally sat down and realized that he wasnt at the end of our row, we all turned around to see him doing wheelies in the back of the church and my mom chasing after him, trying to get a hold of his wheel chair handle.
There was a girl in my home ward who has Autism, it was the 4th of July and we sang the national anthem, to which afterwards she yelled “PLAY BALL!!!!” It brought a smile to everyone’s face. This same girl plugged her ears and started to yell “annoying, annoying, annoying” whilst someone from the stake presidency gave a talk… Again, SO FUNNY!
We are converts and during our first sacrament meeting my son, then 9 years old, stood up, pointed and yelled “look mom! They serve snacks!!” I was so embarrassed
I’ve heard to many funny stories but most of them are not compare to what i just read in here..
During a Mother’s Day program many years ago my little brother had his moment to shine…he was to say what his mother liked best. My mom and dad had left town for the weekend and had to hear his answer from most of the congregation later that week. He got up there and told everyone that his mom “liked to lock herself in her room and read romantic books.” It took the congregation about 5 minutes to quit laughing after that!
A few months ago, my husband and I were sitting behind another young couple with a 2-year-old son. RIGHT before the opening prayer, we heard the little boy whisper “My penis hurts.” My husband and I could NOT keep it together and snorted all the way through the prayer. We must have been loud because after the amen the mother turned around and apologized.
My uncle was a real tease. One year he taught my little brother, who was about 3, the Saturday Night Live sketch about “making copies”, with all the phrases they used, etc, over Thanksgiving break. This was when people used to bring the microphones down into the congregation to bear testimonies. The next Sunday was Fast Sunday, and my little brother, at the far end of the middle pew from my parents, stood up for a microphone. When they gave it to him, he grabbed it, stood up on the bench, and proceeded to bear his testimony…”The ______meister, bearin’ his testimony. Knowin’ the gospel is true…etc” My mom has never gotten to the other side of a bench so quickly, and the people from that ward still laugh about it, years and years later.
My mom was leading the congregation, and she felt her slip falling down. She had the hymnal in her hand, and was not sure if she should try to catch it or just let it drop. She decided on the second one, and when she was done with the song, she just stepped out of her slip and left it right there!! Thank goodness the only ones who knew were on the stand and the congregation had no idea because of the wood banister around the front stage!
Ever since the Lego Movie came out, my son thinks there are “items of LORD BUSINESS” not ward business
When I was little, I stood up in the middle of the sacrament and yelled “Diarrhea!” and proceeded to make loud farting noises with my mouth.
During October one year I had the theme song to the Exorsist as my ring tone, (not that I love the movie just a great Halloween themed ring tone.) Anyway, my phone went off during the Sacrament and I couldn’t find my phone. It just kept ringing and ringing that Satanic melody over and over. I was so mortified.
Not in sacrament (thank goodness) but in primary one day, my 4 year old yells “who the h*&# is going to say the prayer?”. We had just moved in a few weeks earlier.
That is awesome! LOVED that! LOL!
Last year we visited a ward in North Carolina while we were on vacation. In my brother’s young mens class they were asked about any tender mercies they had. One of the kids in the class talked about how he was going to have his mom bring him subway for lunch, it was about time for lunch so he wanted to go down to the office and see if his mom remembered his sandwich. Right then his mom came in with his subway. Apparently that was a tender mercy xD
I was 21, and a NEW convert to the church, and asked to speak in sacrament meeting. i was very nervous. And became very distracted when a young mother in the front row decided to nurse her baby right there in the chapel. I am not sure how many ummmms I had while trying to regain my composure and figure out where I was in the talk!
My sister and her husband were at church with their two little boys. The oldest was potty training and needed to go. They took him out to the bathroom, but in the meantime, the younger boy got rowdy. Needless to say, there was a miscommunication in the process of managing it all between the parents because her friend told her later that in the middle of Sacrament meeting, her potty-training son was walking up and down the aisles of the chapel, pants-less, saying, “Who’s going to wipe my poopy butt? Who’s going to wipe my poopy butt?” After seeing that his parents were nowhere to be found, the friend stepped in and helped, giving him the answer to his very pressing question!
My mother once gave a talk in sacrament on the topic of working towards happiness in family life. She relied on the “The Family: A Proclimation to the World” to communicate the principles that happy families are built upon. This is what she meant to say. “…respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. Happiness in families comes from such.” This is what she said instead. “…respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. Happiness in families comes from sex.”
Those who were paying attention were shaking their pews trying to stifle their laughter. Some glanced at one another surprisedly as if to say, “Did she just say what I thought she said?” Even our Bishop could not help from grinning.
My brother and his wife had been teaching their children about the continent of Africa, including the socio-economic circumstances of many Africans. As they live in a large city, many of their friends are from other countries, and the ward is very multi-cultural. One Sunday at church my sister-in-law was holding her son on her lap while he peered back at the congregation over her shoulder. He then leaned back, looked at her and said, in a loud voice, “Mommy, are all black people poor?”. She then had the embarrassing task of explaining to the African family behind her why he would say that.
One time I took my toddler to the bathroom during Sacrament Meeting. He pulled his pants down and said, “Watch this Mommy!” and kicked his underwear into the air. They went up and came down straight into the toilet. There was no time to react! I finally decided to just put his pants on him and have my husband run home for dry underwear. By the time my dear husband got back, there were about 10 minutes left in Sacrament Meeting. I figured it would be o.k. to wait that long instead of leaving again. That’s when I looked over to see my little boy had stripped off his pants and was putting his dry underwear on.
When my brother-in-law was about 5, he was good buddies with his bishop, who was a little person, standing only a few feet tall. His family was usually late for sacrament, so they always sat on the front row. One Sunday when it was the first counselor’s turn to conduct, his older brothers informed him that the counselor who was conducting was discriminating against the bishop for being little, and that he wouldn’t let him speak. Promptly, my brother-in-law stood up on the bench in front of everybody, pointed at his bishop and yelled as loud as he could, “Let the midget talk!” The entire congregation was rolling in laughter.
One sacrament meeting while sitting in the overflow, a small child in front of us got his head stuck in the chair. He couldn’t get it out and his dad tried hard to do so without hurting him. We were all laughing so hard, visibly shaking, but not making a sound. Finally he just picked up the boy and chair and walked out trying not to laugh out loud. I’m not sure if was funnier about the incident or so many people trying to laugh without making any sound.
I was visiting a ward when the stake presidency member announced a change in the high priest group leadership. The bishop then announced there would be impromptu testimonies from the released group leaders starting with the ” old High greased Poop leader. The entire sacrament congregrTion laughed uncontrollably. The stake leader had to take the stand to bring back reverence.
My oldest brother was always bugging the rest of us. One Sunday my family sat in one of the front benches and during the Sacrament he decided to bug my brother, who is just younger than him, by untying his shoes. The younger of the two finally stood up in the middle of the sacrament and started beating the older one with his shoe. From then on my mom refused to sit anywhere but the back.
There was a Stake High Councilman that attended a meeting to have us sustain a new presidency in the Stake. So we go through the hymn, and the prayer, and this High Councilman gets up, reads the new names and callings of the individuals, and then asks us to sustain them, and then any opposed. My 15 year old brother, who has autism, throws his hand in the air. For the first time in years, my family decided to sit near the front of the pulpit. I was sitting next to him and attempted to pull his hand down, but he kept it locked in the air. The bishopric had to talk to the high councilman afterwards to assure him that the individuals were sustained.
Not sacrament meeting but still funny-
My husband told me about when he was a new missionary in New Zealand. A fellow new missionary who was just learning English, stood up during a district meeting to speak, and proceeded to give a thorough talk about how to be “sexful” missionaries (repeating the phrase several times).
Wow! After reading some of these, mine really doesn’t sound that bad. My daughter and I had just recently started going back to church and on our 2nd Sunday there, my daughter (who was about 18 months old), crawled under the bench in front of us and grabbed a bag of gold fish crackers from the family in front of us, I snatched her up and attempted to pull the gold fish from her hands and as she is screaming at the top of her lungs, the bag broke open and gold fish flew EVERYWHERE! I was so embarrassed, I left everything and ran out with my daughter. When sacrament was over we went in to clean up and the gold fish had made it from the right side rows where we were sitting to the middle of the room, to the sacrament table and about 5 rows back. It did not go unnoticed by anybody!
My little guy was always a hand full. One Sunday my husband was trying to keep him occupied by “taking his nose.” Well into the game he upped the stakes a little and put it in his pocket. My little guy LOST HIS MIND screaming for it. My husband was laughing so hard he could hardly get him out of the meeting. The very kind sister behind us handed a toy that had long been forgotten and said she thought my little guy might have been screaming for it. When I told her what the real problem was she had to excuse herself too.
One of my boys decided that mooing (yes like a cow) was the greatest sound in the world. With all those people in Sacrament Meeting to enjoy it, and so much quiet time, this was the best time to share it. It took weeks of using sentences I never imagined myself saying, like “I’m sorry Sister… for the mooing but please be patient” before the meeting started. It never took long for them to know what I was talking about.
While on my mission, we were teaching a young mom and her daughter. We had explained to the mom that when the sacrament was passed, she could just pass it to us and everything would be great. So while it was very quiet, she got the bread tray and passed it over her daughter’s head to my companion. But the girl must have been watching everyone take a piece and said loudly, “Chicken, I want some chicken!!!”. Everyone started to laugh, it was one of the best memories I have from that area.
Our ward has a tiny little Mother’s lounge with a small changing table and sink and no room or chairs for breast feeding. So most of us just feed at the back of the R.S. room with covers on as we are all ladies anyway. My Sister was feeding her son one Sunday thinking nothing of it when a guest speaker arrived, a member of the Bishopric. She was well covered and at the back and it would have been more obvious for her to try and stop or leave and figured he probably wouldn’t notice what she was doing anyway. So He starts his lesson. “Sisters, I have been invited here today to talk to you about the Breasthood.” There was a lot of laughter, and our R.S. is made up of pretty laid back ladies, except for his wife who promptly rather shrieks a reprimand. I don’t know if he or my sister were redder, but there was no stopping the giggles to get the spirit back in the lesson that day. Bless him he was quite a shy guy anyway. He couldn’t even look at my sister for weeks.
During one sacrament meeting the toes on my left foot were really “tickling” until I couldn’t stand it any more. The sacrament had just started so I leaned over and took my shoe off. To my horror, there was an earwig crawling inside my nylon! I didn’t think, just instantly reacted. I yanked the toe of my nylon away from my foot, grabbed my shoe and started pounding on the earwig. I didn’t stop until I knew that earwig was good and smashed! I looked up to find my husband and children as well as several nearby rows staring at me. In the silence of the sacrament, my pounding had been pretty loud. In shock, my husband whispered loudly “What on earth are you doing?!?!” I definitely turned several shades of red!
Years ago while attending my local singles ward I had the opportunity to sit next to a guy I had a crush on. Ten minutes into the service as the Sacrament was being passed I got hit with a wave of severe gas pains. I was so scared. I bent over and hugged my knees. The pain was getting unbearable. Then, it suddenly went away. With relief I sat up and let out a sigh and also immediately let out the world’s loudest fart. It ripped through the silence of the sacrament like the bomb that it was. Every person within 5 pews sat up stone straight as if to say “it wasn’t me”. Embarrassed doesn’t even begin to describe it.
In a married student ward testimony meeting a newly married young man was talking about how to balance school and family. Over the pulpit he said, “It’s important to do your homework, but it’s more important to do your wife.”
He might have been able to just chuckle at what he had accidentally said and go on, but he started trying to clarify and backpedal until the entire congregation couldn’t hold in their laughter.
When I was growing up, our small branch rented out The Women’s Improvent Club hall for our meetings. The inside of the building was just a big hall with a kitchen area towards the back of the room. One fast Sunday my younger brother decided he was way too hungry to wait til we got home to eat. He excused himself to go to the bathroom, but instead made a detour to the kitchen. He found an unopened package of refrigerated rolls and proceeded to bake them. The smell wafted throughout the meeting, and my mother was able to catch him in the kitchen stuffing rolls in his mouth!
My wife and I used to serve in the deaf branch in our area. Most members of the branch are deaf, but those who are called are hearing.
The branch was having an ice cream social after the block, so the person who was asked to give the closing prayer, also said a blessing on the refreshments.
The sign for ice cream is literally the action of licking an invisible ice cream cone. The prayer and blessing went well, until the very end – when the person also did the sign for ice cream with a *very loud* “leuh, leuh, leuh” sound for each lick to the invisible cone given – this echoed throughout the entire chapel…all the hearing people did their best not to laugh, but everyone on the stand, including the branch president lost it laughing!
This story never dies in my family. When my mother had become pregnant with me she had to ween my brother from breastfeeding. He. Was. Devastated. That Sunday while sitting in sacrament my mother heard stifled giggles in the pews around her that began to gradually grow as more people joined in. She looked around to see what was so funny only to find everyone was looking at OUR pew. She looked down to find that my brother had grabbed one of the barbie dolls my mother had brought to keep my sisters quiet and had proceeded to rip her shirt off and suck desperately at her fake boobs in an attempt to get ANYTHING out of them. Needless to say she was mortified.
Mine is not form sacrament. I was sitting in Relief Society with my then 8 month daughter who loved to touch hair. She reaches for the ladies hair in front of us and oops the hair comes off. I was soooo embarrassed that I had to leave the room because I was going to die laughing. My neighbors were there and had tears from laughing so hard.
We’ve all heard the story of the kid who while being dragged out of sacrament screams for the bishop to save them, my story is similar but with an added bonus! When I was a toddler, I started getting out of control, so my mom picked me up and rushed me out of the chapel. As she carried me I started screaming as loud as I could, “SAVE ME GRANDMA!!! SAVE ME!!!” Mom heard many people burst into fits of laughter but didn’t understand fully why until she got out and found, that as she was pulling me out and I was screaming, I reached for my Grandma and grabbed what I could- her wig! Sorry Grandma.
My son was climbing over the chairs one time going to another family member, when he slipped and fell straddling his crotch on the top of the chair. He then looks up to me in pain and says really loud: “Dad! I hurt my wiener.” I couldn’t help but laugh and put my head down.
When I was 18 and just weeks away from putting in my mission papers, I was sitting a few rows back in sacrament meeting and fell a sleep with my head in my hands, and elbows on my knees. At some point my elbows slipped off my knees and down I went. My head smacked the back of the bench in front of me (which woke me up) and as I quickly sat up I saw the fine arch of a long thread of drool fly through the air. Luckily, or unluckily, it didn’t break and land in someone’s hair. Nope, it followed the motion of my head, arched big and beautifully, and splattered me in the face. I wiped my face off and looked around to see my neighbors from across the street laughing so hard they were crying, and the bishopric valiantly (but vainly) trying to keep a straight face.
My little guy screamed all done, all done when he felt the prayer was going to long.
When my brother was a toddler my dad took him out during the sacrament. Unfortunately, he stood right in front of a red lever on the wall. Little Brandon found it very interesting and pulled it, setting off the fire alarm and calling the fire department to the church 🙂
During the sacrament our 3 year old was standing on the pew next to my wife. He had a very pained expression on his face and was pulling at his pants. Suddenly he shouts, “My penis hurts!” I think we turned about every shade of red there is.
My Dad was speaking at my brother’s mission farewell. He was very nervous about speaking because he had just gotten new false teeth, and it was a little hard for him to say some of the words. He was doing really well until close to the end of his talk. He ended his talk by stating “I know my son will have a lot of success on his mission,” but the word success came out as “sex!!” The whole congregation burst into laughter, and my dad wanted to crawl behind the pulpit. We still like to bug him about whether he thinks this missionary, or that missionary will have a lot of “success” on their mission!!
During one testimony meeting when I was very young, my little sister decided to get up. She was pretty observant to know that it was okay to cry up at the podium but she cried for all the wrong reasons. I just remember her bawling the words, “and my parents make me come to church because the first part is booooring!!!” I was pretty young but still quite embarrassed.
I was asked to teach a lesson in Primary during the second hour of church so my husband had our 3 or 4 month old daughter during Sunday school and she was acting fussy so he left to check her diaper but it was fine. When he came back the couple that he had been sitting next too slid over so that he could sit by the isle and not have to walk over them. The man left his leather brief case under the chair my husband was now occupying. A few minutes later our baby audibly poops into her diaper. My husband and the man sitting next to him chuckle a little and my hubby can smell it which was kinda weird but he didnt think anything of it. A minute or so later she audibly fills her diaper some more and the smell gets stronger. They chuckle some more. This happens a third time and the smell is really strong now and my husband can feel warm on his leg so he picks her up to see if the diaper is leaking and is very surprised to find that her yellow runny poop had run off his leg, pooled onto the chair and ran off the chair and onto the man’s leather breif case under his chair. He said, “I didn’t know what to do! I couldn’t set her down without spreading the mess farther but I couldn’t hold her and clean up.” The man’s wife very kindly volunteered to clean up our daughter so that he could get himself cleaned up. He can laugh about it now.
When my friend was 2 and had just started potty training, she once interrupted sacrament meeting screaming “Daddy, daddy, I just pooped in the potty!” The speaker paused for a moment, “Congratulations, Sister ______.” Then he went on with his talk.
My EFY counselor last year told me this. In his friends farewell sacrament meeting, the lady giving the opening prayer drags everything out dramatically. After she said Dear Heavenly Father, the priests pull down their mic and say Yes. The lady giving the prayer almost has a heart attack. The whole congregation looks up and waits for God to come down from heaven. But the bishop knows exactly what happened so he calls a recess and pulls tye priests into his office.
I have 7 kids. The older ones would call “shot-gun! to get the front seat (no airbags in the old dodge van). The youngest, about 5 at the time, would get so mad and frustrated that she could never react fast enough to get the coveted seat. You know that split second of total silence just after the ‘Amen’ of the closing prayer before everyone gets up and starts to leave? She had it all planned out. Right after the ‘Amen’, she yells at the top of her lungs, “SHOT-GUN!” She rode home in the front seat that day. 🙂
My son, for about 6 months when he was 3 years old, would almost shout “Hooooooraaaaaay!” as soon as the closing prayer was said. Every week.
My sister’s little boy had recently learned the words for gender anatomy. In sacrament, during a quiet moment, he stood up and yelled “mom’s vagina!” Pretty sure they didn’t go back for a few weeks.
My little brother, who is four years younger than myself, had a lot of medical problems when he was born so he couldn’t go to church (anywhere really) for quite some time. He was finally in a good healthy place when this event happened. We hadn’t been in the ward long and my brother was finally able to speak some words. The sacrament water came around and out of no where my little brother yells, “VODKA!” I swear my mother had never given one of my siblings more of a death stare than the one she gave my older brother. He had been going around the house saying vodka repeatedly just because he could. He was around 10 at the time. My little bro must have picked it up at that young age.
In my sister’s ward there was a Sunday where it was very snowy. Hardly anyone was able to make it to the church but for those that did, they decided they would do sacrament and then head home. Problem was, the one who was assigned to bring the bread hadn’t been able to make it. So they searched the church for bread. My sister said you could hear the snickers as the tray made its way around the room filled with goldfish crackers.
“And now, i would like to quote Pres. Henry B. Earring…”
I was visiting my sisters ward and one of the deacons threw up on a lady he was passing too. What made it worse was as she exited the chapel she shook out her skirt flinging vomit all the way down the aisle.
My niece a few years back was sitting by a friend in sacrament in my mom’s ward.
While the young men were passing the bread she decided it was too quiet and started belting out the chorus to J-Lo’s on the floor. Luckily I caught her before she got through the La-La-La-La-La in the chorus but I was super embarrassed.
We had a member of the Seventy visit us during fast and testimony meeting at the YSA Ward. He was accompanied with a member of the Stake Presidency and also our High Council member. I had a long shift at work the previous night however, so I was very tired and decided to close my eyes for a few seconds.
After a few testimonies were born, this general authority gets us to teach how to properly give spiritual enlightening testimonies during testimony meetings. While all this counsel was being given, I was sleeping in one of the front rows. After some council, he then gave an example of what a testimony should be like, ending his example with Amen. I was unaware that he wasn’t finished, having heard only the end part of his testimony example, and said ‘Amen’ very loudly. I realized that I was the only one who said Amen, and then saw his eyes glance at me. I also saw the eyes of the Stake Presidency, our Bishopric, and felt everyone else staring at me. I was so embarrassed, I started to slide off the bench into the ground so that no one else could see me. Hahaha
In the middle of Sacrament, where the room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop, my three year old looked over at me with big eyes and a big smile and said loudly, “Momma’s not naked at church!” We hurried and shushed him, but he said it a couple more times very enthusiastically – as if me being dressed was something that didn’t happen very often….
My Family was running out the door for early church, we tell our kids grab some leftover pancakes from tupperware in the refrigerator and we can eat them on the way. Church is a 25 minute car ride. We show up and find a pew during the opening hymn. My family sits down in the chapel and my four year old daughter took her still uneaten pancake out and then opened up the syrup bottle that she smuggled in and poured it on the pancake.
A borrowed story. IN my home ward there was a mother of five kids who returned from the mothers lounge just in time for sacrament, after a few minutes of telling her 2 year son where she was and what she was doing he proceeded to help her by getting the baby ready to nurse again. Each time the mother brushed her 2 year old sons hand away from her chest, he got frustereated until finally he whined “but he loves your boobies” both parents were bright red for the rest of the meeting.
My 4 year old nephew decided to drop his pants and pee off the sidewalk outside the chapel.
After church I could not find my 3 year old son. His older sister picked him up from his class but hadn’t brought him to me. We searched all over the building. All of a sudden we could hear him in the foyer coming from the other wards sacrament meeting. He was telling them his full name, how old he was, ect. They had been in the middle of a musical number that had come to a halt. I opened the door to the chapel but couldn’t see him. I realized he had crawled under the sacrament table and was talking in the microphone there. I had to walk in, go up to the stand and take him out kicking and screaming. I was mortified!